The Sydney Life

These lights will inspire you...

2010-03-19T22:58:00.009+11:00

Ok so let's not talk about how long it has been since I blogged.

Alot has changed in the last, well...year. Alot has stayed the same.

I can honestly say that in the last, maybe 3 weeks - I have started living my professional dream. Next week I am going to start living my personal dream.

Right now? I am sitting at home, drowning out the sound of the drunk slappers next door talking about how much they 'appreciate' each other and how men don't love them etc etc. Yeah, well welcome to the real world ladies.

I know what you would all love to hear - what celebrities have I met? Well most recently there was Adam Lambert - he was a real sweet heart. Wears a stack of make up and all I could think of while he looked me up and down and tried to decide if I was straight or gay (long story) was how LONG must it take him to get ready in the morning? Seriously, from the hair to the make-up and the outfit, I am thinking hours...

I also FINALLY made it to New York. It has been such a life aim of mine to get there. As my trip was unbelievably phenomenal (and I will reference to it for many blogs to come) how about I make a list of my favourite moments? Ok here we go -

1. 5th Avenue. Say no more.

2. Seeing Mr. Big in Starbucks. I shit you not.

3. Having numerous moments where I stopped, realised I was in NYC and smiled to myself.

4. Seeing the Lion King on Broadway. Spectacular.

5. Bumping into one of my best mates on the Sex & the City Tour. I shit you not. Again.

6. Walking past the Conde Nast building

7. NYE in NYC

8. Walking around at 7am and taking this picture

I honestly had the most amazing time of my life and often sit at my desk and wish I was back there. One day.

On a sadder note, my Nanna passed away earlier this year. I don't know if I have ever cried so much over losing a loved one. Whilst she was a funny old thing and had her moments in her old age - I loved her and now she's gone. It really made me think of my own mortality and what it will be like to die one day. I've decided I don't want to. I simply refuse to think about it and will live more in the 'now' if that is even possible. To celebrate, I went and purchased a new wide screen TV on my credit card - living in the now and paying in the later.

On a professional note - I now am a fashion critic for the radio station I work at. Such an amazing opportunity. I really do have a deep love for fashion and had the unbelievable pleasure of bringing back many gorgeous pieces of clothing from New York *cue Burberry/Versace/Armani/D&G/Louis Vuitton imagery* and enjoy judging (let's face it - a job I was BORN to do) the celebrities of the world on what they wear and what they should have simply left on their bedroom floor. If you would like to check it out - I would love it if you would and let me know what you think - you can, here.

Aswell as that, I am also doing a daily gossip report on the same radio station - I know! Me? Gossip? *gasp*!! This is something I really do feel VERY lucky that I am in the position to do and I am trying very hard to do my best at. All though, on reflection of my first week I think I need think less and enjoy more. Just a thought. If you live in Sydney and want to hear my 'Dirt Reports' tune in the 104.1 2Day FM at around 11:30am and 12:30pm. If you live in another country - you can stream live here (just click on the Listen Live Now link on the top right hand side).

Ok, I think that's enough for now.

Before I go, do you ever feel like you are on the verge of something amazing?

I do and can't wait.

Gay today, gone tomorrow...

2009-04-13T19:32:00.005+10:00

I have a predicament on my hands.

On two recent occasions whilst getting my 'drink on' at various social outings, I have been placed in a rather bothersome situation.

While both were totally separate instances, the set up was exactly the same. I was out with a good friend from work (actually lets call her Fab_Flatmate - as we are about to move in together) and being the buxom blonde that she is, she attracts all sorts of lovelies...anyway, we are out and she is chatting to the usual, tall muscular manly type package - I am across the way, probably saying something highly entertaining to the people I am surrounded by (*sigh*) and a passing reference is made about my good self - I imagine it's something along the lines of 'is that your boyfriend?' - as I usually hear the tail end of the answer '...Oh no - he's gay'. Eye contact is made, I smile and walk over for assessment, as everyone knows - if the gay don't rate you, the girl don't date you.

Now, here comes the tricky part. In both instances, the gentleman in question (who by this point has been doing a double act to both entertain and capture Fab_Flatmates attention) enters into some pleasant conversation with me. Here comes the punch line however. BOTH of these guys found it their duty at some point of this quick exchange to invite themselves to kiss ME. I'm not talking mack fest but certainly a prolonged smooch in the general cheek area.

Why?

Not that I am complaining - not at all in fact. But why?

Do we now need to make changes to our old sayings? Should it now be 'The best way to a woman's heart is through her Gay mate'???

The second 'Knight in fitted Nudie Jeans and even snugger t-shirt' even offered to set me up with his mate who I quote 'wasn't sure if he liked girls or boys' according to his friend. I am sure he would have loved to have known that his mate was advertising this fact.

I regret to advise that before I or my friend could make an attempt at a move on either of these guys - they were gone. Gay today, gone tomorrow.

So, the dance of dating gets a little bit more confusing. I just want to put it out there though, to any of you straight gentlemens out there - the afore mentioned method of getting into my friends pants is totally cool with me - show me some love and I will make sure she shows you some...

Live Long and Prosper...

2009-04-10T23:44:00.008+10:00

So on my good friend Jenni's advice, I am putting fingertip to key to write about my little rendezvous with Australian Fashion Designer Alex Perry. Well it wasn't so much of a rendezvous so much as he walked passed my desk on Thursday. I'll be honest with you, the man both intimidates and confuses me.

Intimidates because I know he would have been assessing my outfit the second he laid eyes on me. Lucky for me I was dressed in Ralph Lauren that day (polo and jeans) and my hair was still looking ok. I swear to god, he must measure the size zero dresses he makes on his own waist. Man is buff-tastic up top and 'last hole on your belt' down in the waist area.

He confuses me as I have no idea how this man is married. No offence to his wife - I am sure she is lovely - I myself have many a lovely fag hag - but he is homo-licious. Homolicious.

Secondly, I was lucky enough to score some tickets to the World Premiere of Star Trek on Tuesday. Can I just say, Zachary Quinto - when you make up your mind if you like girls or boys - call me...either way.

The whole night was fantastic - a proper red carpet event. I took my gorgeous cousin along as my date, we strode along the red carpet mingling with the likes of MTV VJ Ruby Rose, Author and all round glamazon Tara Moss, Rove and current Miss Universe Australia - Laura Dundovic. As we cruised along the red carpet and commenced walking up the 70 (yes 70) steps to the Opera House, the paps were looking at us to see if we were worth taking pictures of. My cousin mutters to me through a smile 'I am trying so hard not to trip', me being the well seasoned red carpeter that I am, replies with a 'just smile at everyone honey'. To top off a great night, the movie was fantastic to say the least and will appeal to all audiences - Trekkie or not so. The cast were a perfect fit and the cameo by Leonard Nimoy was met with applause. Actually the audience were very receptive throughout the movie - lots of claps when we first saw the Enterprise etc etc.

Oh there was one girl - let's call her 'Crocodile Clip_Girl', she was there to see J.J Abrams and only J.J Abrams. As he came on the stage and introduced the cast and the film (nice guy BTW) this girl bellows (I have to say bellows because...well she was a bellowing sort of girl) at J.J telling him how much she loved him. He broke this unscripted moment with a funny quip, something along the lines of 'is there an Optometrist in the room?'. I highly recommend you all go and see this film when it is released on May 7th.

Sneaky Boobs on the Beach?

2009-02-08T17:01:00.003+11:00

So I just found this pic on my iPhone from the Kylie concert.

Yep that's a booby magazine in his back pocket.

I'm going to say he was dragged along.

Here is a picture of the place I went to last weekend and had THE most delicious breakfast ever. Oh and probably the most expensive, clocking in at a nice $40.

And finally this is a pic of a party I went to just before Christmas - yep, hanging out with Sneaky Sound System.

I'm back...

2009-02-04T18:00:00.014+11:00

Ok, so this is the longest that I haven't written a blog and it has now dawned upon me that the reason I started writing was I had so much to talk about. I think it has taken this long to build up a bank of exciting things and I really don't think I can hold onto it anymore!

Here is a list of what has been going on in The Sydney Life since December...

Our staff Christmas party was once again the extravaganza that it normally is. We had the most amazing party at a club on Oxford Street. The theme was 'Circus Freak'. The costumes were so creative and the entertainment on the night included trapeze people, 2 mostly naked men and the Pot Belleez. I went as a Freaky Magician. Kick arse costume.

I spent Christmas in beautiful far North Queensland. Let's just say the highlight of the trip was the weather, the pool, the shopping, the weather, the lack of work and catching a bronzed god trying to hide the party in his pants as he walked away from the pool.

New Years Eve was spent with the delightful Paris Hilton at the Bongo Virus NYE Party. It was pretty awesome. Paris walked passed me at one stage and I just saw this mass of blonde hair as all of my friends were pointing and gaping at my shoulder. One thing I must say though, at one point we were all watching her dance and taking pictures of her and her new BFF and I remember thinking. This feels so wrong standing here watching some chick dance. With her friends. For no reason. I still took pictures.

I finally had my hair done at the Brad Ngata salon in downtown Sydney. It. Was. Amazing. Just look at the pictures, they say it all.

I saw the first episode of the Australian Ladette to Lady at a private viewing the other day. It was terrible. But terrible in a good way. I have no idea if they are going to edit it for Australian TV but I was embarrassed that these girls were Australian. Especially when Mrs. Crotchety Pants (??) starts talking about how the UK shares Her Majesty with 'Ooorstralia' and then they cut to one of the girls with her nipple sticking through a CD. Classy.

I have to move. Yeah, I'm a bit sick of talking about that in the real world.

I spent yesterday sailing on the Harbour. Didn't fall in, nothing broken, didn't throw-up. Successful day really. Even managed to get a bit of a tan.

I'm back at Yoga. Bring on the Downward Dog.

I scored GOLD tickets to see Kylie in concert. It was fantastic. It was like being in a nightclub with the costumes, the music and the confetti. It was also Homo Headquarters. Say no more.

It's nice to be back blogging. I've missed you. Don't ever go away for that long again...

Keep on Trekkin'...

2008-12-03T11:01:00.004+11:00

Ok, so I just got back from a sneak preview of the upcoming Star Trek movie.

Oh my shit this film is going to be amazing. If I wasn't a Trekkie before - I am now (I jest).

The Gay 80's...

2008-12-01T17:51:00.005+11:00

Wow, this time of the year is really nuts. I guess now that I am hell bent on ruling the world, it does take up a little of my time.

Last week I went to an 80's themed night. I love the 80's like anyone else, but I'm not thaaat into it. There are moments that I like, such as...

The song "Electric Dreams"

The Never Ending Story

Big Hair

The overuse of electronic synthesisers in songs

Me being me, I whipped together a costume with a days notice. It wasn't much but I knew that I could top it off with a larger than life hairstyle.

When I got there, we posed for photos like it was a normal everyday thing. Like I was taking the rubbish out. Step, step, pose and snap. Easy as that.

I took in some of the costumes that were there and some of them were simply amazing. High waisted pants, parrot earrings, shoulder pads, high tops. I decided I would be going as a cross between Michael J Fox (Back to the Future years) and Olivia Newton John let's get physical. There were Madonna's, bad bridesmaids and fluro galore. It was a great night and a good primer for the upcoming staff Christmas party.

Little did I know, come Monday morning I received an email (cc'd to the rest of the world) telling me that I was infact the best dressed staff member. It was so worth it. It got me a $100 Westfield Voucher. I am so spending that sucker on something juuuust for me. I have been eyeing off the new Giorgio Armani mens skin care range. Trouble is, I'll have to put another $300 towards my voucher in order to afford it...

Blondes have more fun...

2008-11-15T21:49:00.007+11:00

So you know your a high flying socialite when you find yourself home on a Saturday night with the best thing on TV being Herbie starring the one and only Lindsay 'I'm not a Lesbian' Lohan.

If there is one thing I love doing is going to the hairdressers. You name it, I've had it. Colours, cuts, extensions - everything. I also find a sort of peace in heading into a salon full of the sounds of hair dryers, idle chatter and the typical douche, douche of house dance music in the background. You sit in a chair, a hot beverage stuffed in your hand and someone starts to play around with your hair.

I am very particular about my hair but once I find someone who I like, I leave the process to them without further explanation or supervision.

Today was far from that. I won't go so far to say it was a terrible experience as such, it just wasn't what expected.

Upon phoning the salon earlier in the week to make my appointment for the weekend I was told my colourist had unfortunately left the salon. Having some knowledge on how this could affect the clientele coming to the salon, I agreed that I would still come along on the weekend.

When I arrived this morning, I was greeted as usual by the receptionist who promptly delivered a cup of tea to my hands. Good so far.

Then I met the new colourist.

Upon first look I noticed:
Bloodshot/James Mathison crazy eyes
A muttered greeting
Strange sideways glances at the Manager
The look on his face like he was enjoying a joke no-one else could hear

Then there was the brief consultation.

Then started the random analysis of my hair, followed by clipping it up and un-clipping it again, all the while shaking like a mother fucker. Then he literally said under his breath something about what process I use to wash my hair. I barely understood him so I asked for a repeat to which he looked at me with those freaky eyes and repeated what he said in the exact same muted voice. I then made a comment about being tired so I could stick my head in my magazine and pray everything turned out ok - he says to me "well if you start talking in tongues - I'll know to stab you with my comb". Ha ha...very funny.

Top that off with him picking up pieces of foil that weren't even there.

Yep - this new hairdresser was pinging off his head.

Feeling a little bit concerned I put my magazine down and wondered if I should try and get the attention of the Manager. After watching him fumble through putting foils in my hair that seriously started to worry me - I started making eyes at anyone who would look. By the time he had finished, I looked like I could probably get cable TV and digital radio reception. Let's just say 'haphazard' was the inspiration du jour for my foils.

This could have been me

Whilst laying at the basin, thinking - how am I going to get my hair fixed, what will I say to the Manager etc. I started to get over my scared feelings at got a bit angry. Since when has it been ok to turn up to work totally off chops? Especially when you have other peoples lives literally on your hands (well almost - my hair is pretty important to me). I thought - if this all goes to shit, I am going to be one unhappy homo. I had already spent most of my appointment on the edge of my seat wondering what the fuck this wing nut was banging on about and whether he talking to me or his brush.

Lucky for him (and me) everything turned out ok. What I couldn't figure out though, was when I went to pay - the bill was around half of what I normally pay. I was happy to have my hair in-tact and just paid and left.

I don't know if I will go back. I honestly don't think it was worth going through that to get a discount. As I said, it's a lot to do with the experience for me and this was nightmarish to say the least.

Good God, Heartbreakers starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sigourney Weaver is now on.
If anyone has seen my social life, please send it my way...

A Cock, In a Frock on a Rock...

2008-11-05T19:48:00.005+11:00

So last night I went to see Priscilla.

Fucking Amazing.

From the costumes to the set design, the songs and the performers. I found myself grinning from ear to ear by intermission, not wanting it to end.

Todd McKenney kept his pants on.

If you are thinking of seeing it - go now before it finishes. As I have said to many people, we all know the story so you can just sit there and enjoy the show. Also, make sure you donate on your way out...

There was one awkward moment. I was sitting with Scottish_Lass (who I took along as my F.Hag) and as we sipped our mineral water, I happened to notice a delightful older lady sitting in our row. Before I realised what I was doing, I leaned over to Scottish_Lass and made a comment on how much this lady looked like Bernadette in the show (who used to be Ralph). I mean, it was an obvious observation and it wasn't hard to make the connection, the beige flowing outfit cinched in a the waist with a beige belt, the beige high heels, the blonde hair, the tandoori skin. Dead ringer for him/her.

The problem was - I think she heard me. Talk about a buzz kill. Funniest joke I made all night and I had to pretend I was pointing at the stage and talking about the show. She knew.

But back to the show, if you want to have a gay 'ol time, please do go and see it. It was so nice to have a warm fuzzy feeling sitting there in the audience. To think all of those people had come along to see a show all about 'Mo's. Even the young Asian children and the boyfriends that were dragged there by their girlfriends and even all of the straighties too...

Hey!

2008-11-04T15:00:00.003+11:00

Tonight I am going to see Priscilla. I'm a little bit excited.

That's it.

Remember these?

2008-10-27T12:00:00.003+11:00

On my way home from the gym on Friday I saw this and had to take a pic. It immediately makes me think of Karen in the Will & Grace episode where she dresses up as a slutty cheerleader to help her Mother out on a scam...

A night at the ARIA's...ARIA's? ARIA's? Did someone say ARIA's?

2008-10-20T21:10:00.010+11:00

So last night I went to the ARIA's.

Do I need to say anything else?

It was the most amazing night ever.

Some highlights of the night were:

- Sam Sparro doing a spiller on stage (tripping on his man-cape)

- P!nk's UNBELIEVABLE performance with a ride on mower/smashed up car/fire display/slide ensemble

- The Presets: Kooky head piece/dancers/performance

- Hamish and Andy hanging from the ceiling

- The scarily skinny Veronica's

- Gabriella Cilmi's repetitive "It's um...cool and sick man..." acceptance speech

- The "shivers down my spine" performance from Aboriginal performer Geoffrey Gurrumul

- Seeing my future husband Anthony Callea

Sam Sparro prior to making out with the stage

Un-Official photographer and personal "Arm Candy" Ballerina_Girl

Gabriella "this is mad" Cilmi

The Presets

P!nk rockin' her shizz out!

At the end of the awards, I had this surreal moment where I turned to Ballerina_Girl and it just out into perspective just how far I have come in the last few years. I really am enjoying myself at the moment - now just to seduce Anthony Callea..

Hangin' with the PCD's

2008-10-16T14:35:00.002+11:00

Ok so no pics of the PCD's - only because I was strategically standing right where they needed to walk through so instead I actually spoke to them as they sashayed passed me. I said 'Good Morning' and they all said it right back. I thought it would be weird to whip out my iPhone and take a picture of them as we exchanged pleasantries - so no pics (I do have to be a professional sometimes).

Funny - it was hard to take them all in at once as each of their outfits were so intricate - it was sensory overload! But I will say Nicole - much shorter than I expected...

Celeb Spotting Update...

2008-10-15T10:39:00.002+11:00

I just spoke with the Pussy Cat Dolls!

Sneaky pictures to follow!!

Let's Catch Up...

2008-10-14T19:55:00.021+11:00

Righto, as promised please see below for smashingly good blog entry.

To say there has been a bit going on would be a major understatement. Firstly I have been so busy lately I haven't had the time nor strength to blog. Then my house was broken into and my laptop was stolen amongst other things so no interweb access to blog.

Yeah that was pretty shitty.

Now that my excuses are out of the way, let's keep going with the good stuff.

Firstly, I got a new laptop this week which is awesome. It's new, functional and most importantly - it's pretty.

I also got a promotion about 4 weeks ago. Well, I actually applied for a new job with my current employer. I can honestly say that I have never worked so hard to get a job in my life. My new position is amazing but also means there is absolutely no down time for blogging at work. Not that I would ever do that before - but you know what I mean.

My best friend Positive_Simone had her baby - she had a little boy and called him Fox. She managed to keep us all waiting patiently until she popped before she would tell us the name that they had picked out. I absolutely love it. No middle name, just first and last.

He is going to be one cool kid. Especially if I have anything to do with it. He already has his first Polo Ralph Lauren polo shirt and baby Nikes. Buying presents for kids is awesome. I managed to get to the hospital to see the proud Ma and Pa with baby and somehow by the time I got to their room I had collected an armful of gifts and flowers. It was like I couldn't stop myself.

I also got to have a hold of Fox - I was surprisingly a bit nervous. I've held babies before but this baby is special. I think I've said before he will be probably the closest thing I will have to a baby and watching Simone's tummy grow and grow for the last 9 months and then finally, this little bundle is here - I just can't wait for him to start becoming a little person!

In regards to Celeb Spotting, some interesting people I have seen lately are -

Lady Ga Ga: At first I thought she was a hooker. Well, that's what you get for dressing like one I say. After I realised it was her, I was star struck and just stared at her. It was hard to see what she actually looked like underneath all of that Blonde Hair and Sunglasses.

Delta Goodrem: We are good mates now - we chatted, she borrowed my hat and then bumped into me on the way to the bathroom. I'm thinking Christmas with her and Brian is on the cards...

Flo Rida: One word - Tattoos.

Script: Walked passed them and did a little double take before realising it was them.

Katie Perry: Gorgeous. A lot of pancake on but stunning all the same.

I think that's probably about it on the celebrity sightings. Stay tuned for more.

I was lucky enough to attend the Ronald McDonald Charity Ball this year. I have been to 3 of these events now and the previous two I went to, I managed to get up on stage and perform with the act.

The first year it was with Jon Stevens from Noiseworks then the following year the Young Divas. Somehow I wound up on stage with microphone in hand and "singing". Needless to say I managed to limit my alcohol intake this year and stayed firmly in my seat, apart from a small journey to the dance floor at one point with my colleagues. At one point, I turned to my right whilst on said dance floor and realised I was standing next to the Top 12 Australian Idols - I tried not to look too hard but it took me by surprise, so it was hard not to. Girls (and girly boys) Wes - Oh My God he is hot! Mark Spano - short, Madam - stunning, the others - I don't remember so obviously not that interesting!

On my recent trip to Tasmania, I had the lovely experience of being stuck half way on my way back in the Melbourne Airport.

Then my flight was cancelled.

I will get into this story one day but I just want to say, part of the 5 hours that I waited in the airport before being shipped to a dodgy motel was spent sitting across from this muppet who was snoring his head off.

And just to finish off, I might be a homo and all that but I saw this car and thought it was awesome.

Children of the 80's - can I hear a "Autobots - Roll Out!!"...

Forgive me internets for I have sinned...

2008-09-24T10:23:00.002+10:00

It has been way too long since my last blog.

I am in the process of putting a cracker entry together but as a little teaser - Lady GaGa just walked passed my desk.

She makes me want to be a better blonde...

I've got a Golden Ticket (and a tummy ache)...

2008-08-11T15:35:00.009+10:00

Tonight I am going to the gym. Want to know why?

Ballerina_Girl and I met for Pizza and Pasta on Friday night. That was ok, it was what we did after that has sent me packing back to the Gym

We started with these

and moved onto this...

ended up looking like this...

and then rolled home.

The devils name you ask? Max Brenner.

It was also my very special and gorgeous friend/Mum to be - Positive Simone's Baby Shower on the weekend. There was an amazing spread (yes more food!).

Positive Simone is one of those women who radiates when pregnant. This is her first bubba and I am so excited for this little person to come into the world. I think for me, this is the closest I will come to having kids of my own so I can't help but touch her tummy and talk to the baby through it.

Shopping for a present, I found whole wings of shopping centres I never even knew existed! Full of baby stores and the like (obviously I have never had to use these areas before) and me being me, I settled on something that was not so practical but more pleasing to the eye.

Said present was in the form of a mini Polo Ralph Lauren polo top (she is having a little boy) it even has the little Polo horsey on the chest too! Mind you I did feel a bit weird shopping in amongst the multitude of breast pads and Baby Bjorn accessories -but I still had fun. I can't wait to teach him all the important things in life like how to do his hair, when it's ok to wear beige, to always take the last accessory you put on, off - well maybe not the last one.

So I went to the premiere of the animated Star Wars film on the weekend Clone Wars. It was great - more kids than SW's fans (to be expected, it was a family premiere anyways). Ballerina_Girl and I were sitting there waiting for the film to start and all of a sudden the kid behind us turns to his Dad and says "Dad...I have to poo!". Well I nearly lost my popcorn at that stage. I did not laugh out loud though as that would have probably attracted some looks - I was at a kids film anyways.

I am currently watching the mens synchronised diving at work (there are plasma TV's everywhere you look - I'm not slacking) but it is very hard to focus on my work with all of the budgwar smuggle' going on. That is about as sports focused as I get.

Anyway, Yoga beckons. Gotta get my downward dog on - eww...

Doin' it Sniper Style...

2008-08-08T13:34:00.005+10:00

So last night we had a "team bonding" session at Laser Skirmish. I just want to put this out there first up - I came last. Not just last in my team, last in both teams.

My excuse is that I was not "camping" (industry term) like some of the girls - I was right in there, Black Hawk Down style. This meant I also copped alot of shots to the back (and not in the good way) - thanks guys.

Below are some pics of the awesome time that we had.

The night is also our awards night for Employee of the Quarter and you will all be pleased to know - I won!

So one small loss and one big win - that makes me ahead I think!

Wanted: Decent Blog

2008-07-31T13:01:00.006+10:00

So last night I was lucky enough to go to the premiere for Wanted starring Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman and James McAvoy.

My expectations of the film were turbulent to say the least (I am easily swayed by others) and by the time the movie started I wasn't even sure if I was going to like it.

In the very early stages, I was working with the film company (they are a client) on promoting the film and at that point I was excited - the trailer looked awesome and well it had Angelina in it! More recently though, co-workers and the like started telling me it hadn't received a very good review and there was a possibility it was going to be a flop.

I am happy to say it was most enjoyable. Without spoiling it for you, there were so many great shoot 'em up scenes and yes as one person pointed out "alot of unrealistic situations", but what do we go to the movies for? We want to see something that is out of the norm. Something that takes us away from our own lives and places us somewhere better or different.

The film was easy to watch (be careful if you had issues watching Cloverfield though) and easy to follow - a nice simple story line with some brilliant CG work.

Angelina didn't have a lot of lines in the film (not that she needed them) and managed to do all the work she needed to by pouting and blinking very slowly.

The only thing that concerned me was, you know how people take something away from a film, usually what they connected with most (in this instance being an assassin??) - I wonder how this would translate to normal life? Will people all of a sudden start trying to bend bullets? Could be a bit dangerous if you ask me.

My favourite line in the film was delivered by Morgan Freeman "...shoot this motherfucker!...".

Loved it.

Today I also scored tickets to see the premiere of Tropic Thunder starring Ben Stiller and the animated Star Wars film The Clone Wars. Keep an eye out for some feedback on these films soonish...

Also - if you want to read reviews and the like from a professional reviewer, head along to my friend Jen's page - www.jenreviewsmovies.com

My date with Angelina...

2008-07-30T12:16:00.005+10:00

So tonight I have tickets to the premiere of Wanted starring Angelina Jolie and other people that don't matter.

It had better be good - I am putting off the gym to go.

I hear Brad and Angelina are re-making The Sound of Music - starring all of their real life kids. I joke - but really, I read today Ange is maybe possibly going to slip into the role of Catwoman in the near future. Considering the awesome job The Dark Knight is doing at the box office - it's no surprise there are going to be a million and one spin offs. Poor Halle Berry, how must she feel? "Sorry Halle, your attempt to be Catwoman was not profitable nor good so we are just going to forget it ever happened and get someone else to have a go".

I was speaking to somone the other day and they noticed that I had an iPhone and asked if they could have a look. I was explaining how cool it is blah blah and then got to the part where I talk about how much I use the iPod and they said to me "Oh, it has an iPod built into it too?". Umm, yeah (trying to cover my look of "are you taking the piss") - this person was by no means old or a recluse living in a cave by the way. Strange behaviour.

I was sad to read that the Starbucks in my hometown is closing down. It's disappointing that it hasn't taken off but this is typical of the culture there. I love where I am from but sadly things are rarely successful with the average population age being 102. People prefer to stick with what they know as opposed to Sydney where some crazes are over before you have even tried them.

Angie - I'll be the one with the great hair...

Midday 'Mo...

2008-07-28T14:27:00.007+10:00

Ian Thorpe just walked past my desk.

I am sorry, most of the time I am discreet when checking out celebs.

Well, with the exception of this time.

But right then, I just stared. I know I give him shit about not coming out, but it's only because I have a little crush on the man - jeez!

How's your "girlfriend" by the way?

What the Pluck?

2008-07-25T11:01:00.002+10:00

Hi there,

Doing your make-up on the bus is ok, necessary for some and fairly impressive you don't come out the other end looking like this.

Plucking your eyebrows on the bus. *awkward facial expression and look away

Plucking your FACE hairs on the bus.

Just. Fucking. Horrendous.

I'm dreaming of "Thank-Ewes"...

2008-07-20T23:00:00.006+10:00

Well here I am again - it's Sunday night and I cannot sleep. Thought I might write and...it...might..make.....

Kidding - I'm still here.

This week was really quite interesting and I would like to start by thanking a few people.

I would like to thank:

Jesus/God - for bringing all the Pilgrims to Sydney. I got a lot of material out of World Youth Day/Week. Stormed late into a breakfast meeting shaking my fist and saying "argh, Pilgrims!". I looked out the window at work and saw some hooligans just running around off their scones and singing - they were not Pilgrims my friend - oh no, they were fake Pilgrims - Failgrims if you will. They think that it is fun to get hammered and join in with the frivolity on a Friday night by singing their own hymns. Ah the delights of living in the big city.

The man who abused me in a cafe on Thursday night. Thankyou sir for asking me to get out of your "fucking" seat and yes, I do understand english, but again thankyou for asking. By the way, when you left the cafe after ordering nothing - I took your seat again.

To the couple on the bus at around 8pm on Saturday night. It was bad enough to see you macking on each other for the majority of the bus ride, but if you were doing what I think you were doing and I did not dare to look over - that is just disgusting. Yes I might be bitter and single, but I have standards.

This brings me to my final thankyou. To you. Well not you you but someone who I hope reads this. Thankyou for disturbing my blissful state of not thinking about you with your confusing request. You have to understand that you are asking the impossible.

Well it has stopped raining outside and it's been ooh around 15 minutes - thanks for the chat and sweet dreams.

Holy Cupcakes Batman!

2008-07-15T16:01:00.004+10:00

Wow, last night was amazing. The film was just spectacular.

It was dark as expected, the gizmos and technology were impressive but the difference between this and other Batman movies was the distinct focus on the fear factor. This was portrayed visually but was also paired with a rumbling soundtrack, it had me glued to the screen. Christian Bale plays an intimidating Batman and has developed his skills since filming Batman Begins. The addition of his raspy, deep voice (to hide his identity) firstly made me giggle. All I could think of was that Soothers ad with the Mob boss asking for the lozenge?? But after a bit it almost took on a digitally enhanced sound and really added to the character. Heath Ledger played the Joker to perfection and I can see why he felt he needed to embrace the role as whole heartedly as he did - possibly at the cost of his life.

The film introduces us to The Joker (Ledger), Harvey Dent/Two Face (Aaron Eckhart), and a brief re-visit from The Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy). The difference with these characters is they lack (thank god) the tacky colourful costumes and ridiculous personas of the previous installments. Even The Joker in all his humour is dirty, dark and icky.

I would highly recommend this film. If you are a die hard B-Man fan or just enjoy a good action film (and surprisingly a few chuckles).

Sidebar - to the man who frisked me for a recording device last night - you were a little bit too thorough (if you get what I mean) and there was no need to pat me on the arm and say 'thanks mate' once you were done.

So in a minute I am heading off to have my Taxes done - I don't know what it is but I am having to convince myself to get it over and done with. There are worst things. I think it's because one year I had to pay up (unknowingly) and it has put me off the whole thing since. The place I am going to comes highly recommended so I think it will all be fine. I hope.

There is a cupcake sitting on my desk from Cupcakes on Pitt. I had to turn the box around so it wasn't staring me in the face. When I go to New York, I am so going to the Magnolia Bakery. Can't wait.

Ok I just ate it...

Somewhere over the Rainbow...

2008-07-14T11:39:00.005+10:00

So, over the weekend I watched alot of Sex & the City. Alot.

I know this is a cliche but is it bad that I want to live in a TV show? Do you think the girls would mind if I dragged over another chair and sat with them at that little table and ate a delicious salad?

Wow -this blog would be awesome then.

I used to/still want to live with Will & Grace too. I would live with Karen in the mans. We would get up and have breakfast - I would have a crossaint, she would have 2 uppers. We would spend our days shopping and making fun of Grace. I would have a vague job like "stylist" or something like that...

Reading that back makes me sound like a nut job. Really, I'm not.

I am so not motivated today - I really don't feel like I have had a weekend. I have terrible trouble sleeping on Sunday nights - I'm not sure if it's the thought of the impending week or the fact I usually have a sleep in on the weekend? Regardless, Sunday nights for me I might as well stay up. I was wondering if I could see a Doctor and get a prescription for a sleeping tablet just for my one night a week I can't sleep?

I recently changed Doctors. My last Doctor was as camp as one of the Village People. I know this sounds totally unprofessional but when I would go and see him we would talk about boys, we even ballroom danced once. He was great. The first Doctor I saw since moving to Sydney was young, cute and totally into my profession. Recently I had the pleasure of meeting the other Doctor at this new place I am going to. Let's call him Dr. Frosty. This best describes his Doctor/Patient manner. I was surprised he didn't hand me a lollypop after we were done - that is how I was treated. We even had a confusing conversation about Botox - I wasn't sure if he was telling me I needed it or I didn't. I don't for the record. Not yet anyway.

I have

tickets to the premiere of The Dark Knight tonight. I'm very excited - I'll fill you in on how it goes!

Could it be?

2008-07-07T15:33:00.004+10:00

So on the weekend I was told by my friendly Starbucks Barista that I am the ONLY person in the Neutral Bay area that drinks mint with my Latte?

Could this be true?

Is anyone else a fan of the pepperminty goodness that I speak of???

How do you do Starbucks?

I bet you have never heard a story like this...

2008-07-05T21:35:00.003+10:00

So earlier this week I was asked by a colleague to go with her to a sex shop. Now before you start creating the most inappropriate stories in your head, we were there to buy a blow up doll...for her...this is not going well. Let me explain, we are decorating our office for the Olympics and her Sydney landmark is Kings Cross – ok?

So we make our way to the nearest sex shop in the vicinity of our workplace, little did we know it was also the seediest and creepiest too. We start perusing the blow up dolls, considering our options – do we get the naughty nurse or the frisky air hostess? Anyway, these dolls were positioned on the top shelf and as I was taller, it was my job to reach up and bring each lovely specimen down for an inspection. As I reached for the hot and steamy fire woman, my elbow caught the flimsy plastic shelf below. Upon this shelf (which stretched the width of the store) were about 30 or so dildos and vibrators. Needless to say, they all came crashing down on top of both of us. Yep – we were in a dildo avalanche. A waterfall of vibrators.

As helpful horrified co-worker stood back and squealed, I started apologising to the owner and stating how embarrassed I was. I could not look this little greasy haired man in the face so I directed my apology to the now bare wall I was looking at. As he proceeded to tell me “not to worry as it happens all the time” and that “someone broke the shelf a while ago”, my embarrassment subsided and I realised that I was grasping onto one of the offending “members”. As I glanced down, I couldn’t suppress my shock at the size of the thing and let out a “woah” and promptly handed it back to the owner for placement on the shelf.

As co-worker made her purchase (we decided that hot and steamy firewoman would suffice) we exited the premises at killer speed. As we were walking down the stairs, I noticed there was a sign advertising “viewing rooms” for a deposit of $2. Spew.

Australia’s Next Top Model was a great night, even though we had seats in the “nose-bleed” section, it was still fun watching all of the girls around me adjusting their cleavage and pouting for all they were worth – obviously hoping to be recognised. I didn’t get close enough to Alex Perry but I did brush past two of the designers from the upcoming Australian series of Project Runway.

Seriously though, back to Next Top Model, with men like Alex Perry (who is married??), Napoleon Perdis (also married – with kids) and Ian Thorpe (who owns Chanel après ski boots) on this show, it’s like a great big closet that they can all hide in and dress up until they are ready to come back to reality. Seriously boys, get off the fence. Not only is the grass greener on this side, it tastes like apples...

Strike a Pose - there's nothing to it...

2008-07-01T14:35:00.005+10:00

Tonight I am going to the final of Australia's Next Top Model. For those overseas readers - it's like America's Next Top Model, but shitter. It will be fun though, I am going to walk up to Alex Perry and check my teeth in the reflection of his permanent sunglasses atop his head. He should love that.

The event is going to be in the Big Top at Luna Park which is a great venue. I remember going there for a Radio Award Ceremony a few years back and my boss at the time shouted us all on one of the roller coasters. She will kill me for telling this story (sorry!) but as the roller coaster went down the last cliff like slope it took a photo - which was fine. The part that was funny is that her boob tube/bolero ensemble separated at the "danger zone" and let's just say there was a nip or two in the air...

So I have made a little bit of an extra effort today - new shoes, favourite trench, hair done nicely. I wish our Next Top Model was more like the US version, even better I wish Tyra would host the Aus version. She is fierce. This is as close as I will get I think...

Me & Fake Tyra

Also, last week I made the purchase of all purchases - I got an iPhone. I love it and not because it looks so pretty and is a noticeable accessory currently missing from the Australian market (they are due to be released this month). Everytime I get my iPhone out on the bus I feel like Edina Monsoon from Ab Fab. I want to turn around to the people looking at me and say "It's an iPhone - not an iPod touch you know!". I am a loser. But I am a loser with an iPhone.

We just had our monthly birthday celebrations while I was mid-blog. As there are so many people here, on the 1st of each month we have a big birthday party for everyone who is having a birthday in the month. We have fairy bread, cakes and sometimes fairy floss. I love working here. I just re-read that and yes, there are alot of fairies here.

Ma and Pa visited from The Island on the weekend. It was so nice to see them and by see them, I mean shop with them and by shop with them, I mean shop for me. We had some great meals (it's Tuesday and I am still full!) and it's fair to say there was a decent amount of smoke coming off Mum's credit card. More family are visiting this weekend which will be also nice - not so shopping intense but maybe a free meal.

Well tune in tomorrow and I'll let you know how tonight goes and if Alex Perry bitch slaps me for being...well, a bitch!

Do I think everyone is gay?

2008-06-16T22:11:00.003+10:00

The short answer is yes.

Why is that I wonder? Has it got to do with my last workplace (the era of my grand exit from the closet) where I was introduced to everyone and told that "ëveryone here is sexually flexible"? Maybe.

Leish and I have this ongoing battle about guys that we meet and whether they are 'Mo's or not. I think the score (and correct me if I am wrong) is 1 all and 1 undecided. Fucked if I know what that would be in sport - I am a gay after all.

There was Maxxie from Skins (Leish - 1), Cute Hairdresser (Justin - 1) and Hot Guy from the Real Estate (undecided). I know I am going to win that one though.

I wonder why it is we argue about this. Actually I know why it is, we are sifting through the pick and mix (actually it's more like snatch and grab) of what is left in Man City and let me tell you - there ain't much! We want to make sure that before we emotionally invest - be it real or not so, that we are going to get our money's worth.

I often laugh at people who make assumptions about me and my sexuality. Lately it has been less of the "öh he's a flaming queen" and more of the "oh you're gay?". Now I can see the people who know me choking on their lattes as they read this but yes - that does happen to me too - twice in fact.

I put my theory to the test (that guys become more sexually flexible the more that they drink) at a recent party I was at. I found (as I was the only person not drinking as I could feel the cold that has plagued me for the last 2 weeks coming on) that appreciation of my fashion advice and physical contact increases the more that everyone else drinks. Sadly if this were only true for just the males. The chicks get a lot closer too. Honest to God - in the past there have been times when I have left certain parties/social gatherings with more action from some of the girls as opposed to the boys.

But I guess action is action right? No, I say it is not. The girls in my life I love like they were a part of me. Because they are. They are the ones that will tell you to "take that off"or "stop texting him"and that's what we do in return for them.

I like being gay, don't get me wrong - I love all of my straight friends (you freaks) but I invite anyone to join my gay parade even if it rains on it, dancing in the rain is funner.

The most AMAZING weekend ever...

2008-06-11T10:21:00.007+10:00

I cannot describe it any other way. Let me start at the beginning - Friday night Princess, Leish and I went to see Sex & the City. I can honestly say I haven't been so excited about seeing a movie since The Devil Wears Prada. Well, it was more excitement on the inside as there were more than enough squealing girls there to show how everyone felt. There were fascinators of all shapes and sizes, Jimmy Choos and Manolos, high waisted skirts and ruffled shirts (and that was just in the cinema!!) - I have to go back and see the movie a second time to take in what I missed the first time around. There were mixed feelings from the girls but true to form, I loved every minute of it.

Saturday night was Leish's super extravaganza birthday celebration. Proceedings started with Princess and I sending Leish off to have her hair done. As soon as she was out the door I whipped out the decorations and went at our apartment like a hamster on crack. By the time I had finished (and made an emergency trip to the supermarket for MORE, MORE!) our place looked as if Ronald McDonald had exploded in it. There were animal balloons, streamers, party poppers (not the drug kind), lollies, chips, pretzels and more. When Leish arrived back with no idea what was planned for the night - I could see her composure starting to crack. She really had done a great job not asking anything about the night.

Birthday Girl

As I got ready, she starts asking me - should I get ready? I just shrugged and asked her to check on the party pies - after she realised I was pulling her leg she squealed at me and ran off to dress. As our friends started to arrive, the party was building momentum - that was until Ted (one of Leish's best mates from Tassie) arrived at the window of our apartment - Leish went berserk! After some drinks it was time to go and we were greeted on the street by a fancy stretch Limo courtesy of Princess. With glasses of Verve in hand we took off, made a few stops for some pictures and then made our way to Aria for dinner. After a fantastic dinner and wine with some of our nearest and dearest, we then ventured to the finale of the evening - Karaoke. It was a fantastic night and kudos has to go to the glamorous Princess for all of her hard work in making the night one to remember.

Monday night Princess and I went to the premiere of Kung Fu Panda at the State Theatre. It was one of the better premieres I have been to, but I hate how they rush you along the red carpet - I guess they want the real celebrities to have the carpet to themselves - Princess looks like someone off Neighbours any-hoo.

Jack Black

We had front row seats which was great - we could see Jack Black's hideous outfit right up close. Celeb sitings on the night besides Jack were Rove McManus and the mother of all sitings - Cate Blanchette. At the end of the movie there was some confusion - I grabbed my free Kung Fu Panda drink bottle and another one next to me (for goodluck) and it seems Princess did the same. This was the end result.

A Bag 'O' Drink Bottles

After the premiere we went to the dodgiest McDonalds in the Southern Hemisphere and both Princess and I were accosted by a charming gentleman that was "low on cash" and "needed a few bucks". He was scary. He had nothing but crazy in his eyes. This was of course after the weirdest toilet shenanigans ever. As I was peeing (sorry) I could hear a phone ringing - you know that annoying nokia ringtone? I thought it was over the speakers or something and thought the staff were mucking around until I heard it again - it was also one of those phones that says the persons name in a monochromatic tone as it rings too. So all I could her was "ring, ring, Robert, ring ring". After some looking around I discovered the noise was coming from the rubbish bin. Sorry owner of the phone - that is where it was staying. I told the delightful staff member who looked at my face blankly the first two times I told her about the ringing rubbish bin. Third time lucky.

It truly was a wonderful weekend and I feel very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life to share these moments with...

Oh and before I forget - a huge congratulations to my little sister for winning her section in the Hobart Dancing Eisteddfod. She gave a stellar performance as Tracy Turnblad in Hairspray.

You make me so proud of you xx

WTF? Kelendria Trene Rowland??

2008-06-05T13:33:00.011+10:00

Last night I went to a taping of Will Anderson's new show - The Gruen Transfer. Even though it was pouring down with rain and we slammed down cheeseburgers before going to the ABC studios - it was an awesome night.

Me (my double chin) and the girls from work at the ABC studios

I have seen Will a few times infront of an audience and he has a sense of humour I can relate to. Slightly self deprecating, doesn't say fuck to much and takes the piss out of others. The show was great too. Obviously working in the media, I found it interesting but it had a splash of comedy (and not just from Will) added in for good measure. My favourite part of the show was "The Pitch". This is where some of the top ad agencies in the country are given a random item like "child labour" - and they are asked to pitch a concept supporting this item. It's amazing to see these guys polishing turds so to speak.

Yesterday also marked Leish's birthday. I came home last night to witness her prancing around the house in her new red shoes, preparing for her birthday extravaganza this Saturday. Little does Leish know - Princess and I crept off to my bedroom and had a secret meeting all about the day. It's a wonder she didn't hear us - there were lots of "oooh's" and "ahhh's" and muffled squeals coming from my bedroom...that rarely happens.

This weekend is a long weekend (yay) and my new bed arrives (double yay).

I have tickets to the Australian Premiere of Kung Fu Panda on Monday night - should be awesome fun. Jack black will be in attendance too. Imagine if Santa Angelina was coming too. Oh God - the excitement.

Ooh and tonight we are going to see Sex and the City - this will take me to my happy place. I was uber jealous of the winners that came into work the other day. They won the chance to go to a Gold Class screening and have their hair and make-up done before hand. I want that. Now.

So this week I have missed seeing Kelly Rowland while she was in the studio not once - but twice! I'm not a massive fan, I only wanted to check out her boob job. Who knew she had such an unusual name?

Tom, Dick and Matty...

2008-05-30T11:33:00.017+10:00

Thursday was so worth it. Especially when this walks into your office.

Also worth it when you know that he looks like this without his shirt on.

The other night I did something a little bit out of the norm, I attended the premiere of Warren Miller's new ski film - Playground. For someone who has never been skiing, I actually enjoyed it! Now whenever people are talking about Whistler - I won't think of the character out of the Blade movies. Also, a legitimate reason to buy Chanel Apres Ski Boots.

Before the movie, Leish and I went to one of our favourite places for dinner - Wagamama. They do tasty ramen/asian fusion food. Leish used her crafty skills so that dinner for both of us was $17 - she says it's because she is a tight arse. I on the other hand appreciate the fact that she is a holder of the coupon/discount card/points when we go out.

It was funny to sit there and listen to the people next to us talk about something that my work is involved in at the moment, it's kind of like you want to turn around to them and say "I work there!", but that would be kind of weird and draw waaay to much attention, even for me.

Has anyone been following the Mercedes Corby case? For overseas readers - she was allegedly accused of doing/trafficking/dealing drugs by a current affairs program here in Australia and took them to court (not the drugs - the program). Read about it here. Seriously though - that picture? If Smug were a perfume - she would reek of it.

The other day I had my hair cut at the place I go to when I can't afford my favourite hairdresser (especially at $100 a cut). Now anyone who knows me, knows I am a little bit precious when it comes to my hair. I have actually had every hairstyle known to man - please see proof below.

I walk into the salon with my normal "poker straight" hair (my real hair is curly which I hate). I instruct the hairdresser how I want my hair to be cut with precise delivery. I have had alot of practice over the years. When she is done I say to her - "could you please straighten my hair?" and she says "yes of course". I can honestly say I have never seen someone so afraid of using a flat iron and I don't think it was because she was worried about burning me! I ended up walking out of the salon with hair that looked like should have been atop an ice cream cone. Personally I think this is one of the most important aspects of a haircut - so you can see the finished product. Not something that resembles soft serve! Anyways, lucky for her it was a good cut.

Yesterday I had breakfast with Matt Shirvington.

Well when I say had breakfast with, we were in the same cafe. I tried to do the subtle "look over there" face to Leish and Princess but neither of them got it. They just thought I had a facial tick and kept talking.

Last night marked a big occasion for me since moving to Sydney. Last night I drove over the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Finally. I grinned to myself as I had somehow successfully made my way from a party in Woolhara (yes I was sober), driving my friends mucho expensivo Audi. Was I going to argue when she said take it home instead of a cab? I even stopped at McDonalds and looked totally "North Shore Spoilt Brat" as I got out of the car and ordered my Cheeseburger at 3am. Fuck you drunk losers. I was sober so I still looked nice where as most of them had half a Big Mac down the front of them.

I failed a bit as a friend today. Leish had a near death experience when I went out to the Supermarket and called me like 10 times. I was too busy trying to decide between Panadol Mini Caps or Panadol Rapid in the pain killer aisle and didn't hear my phone. It wasn't until I walked through the door and practically saw her bedroom looking like a tornado had gone through it that I realised something was up. She has a fabulous shelving unit in her wardrobe that isn't as sturdy as it looks. Yes it is from Ikea. Wonder Twin powers activated though and we got it sorted.

It's Leish's birthday next week. It's so exciting, she has no idea about her secret surprise birthday location or anything.

Come on now - am I that stupid?

Happy Birthday to me...

2008-05-23T15:26:00.009+10:00

Monday marked the most important day of the year - my birthday!

Thankyou to everyone for your birthday wishes. For those who forgot - you are dead to me.

When it comes to my birthday, I like to stretch it out as long as I can. This year I have managed to get 7 days out of my birthday (as I write this - Leish has sent me this card).

My family came to Sydney on the weekend - we shopped, ate, shopped ate and ate. Monday night we went to the most amazing restaurant in Sydney - Wildfire. I was getting excited about going in the lead up to the night as everyone I spoke to only had great things to say about it. The only bad thing was don't fill up on the tapas! The staff we very attentive, the food was great PLUS it had the best view of the Opera House.

The entry to this fab restaurant

The fam-fam

Yep - spelt my name right!

This photo only took 18 tries to get right...

The view from my seat - yes that's the Sydney Opera House

The waiter who was looking after us on the night (and who inappropriately touched me several times on the arm) came up to me and very discreetly whispered in my ear "whose Birthday is it?" - I politely said in the same whisper "mine". He was very embarrassed and didn't touch my arm again...

It was so nice to catch up with my family. Now that I live in Sydney we don't get to do alot all together anymore - so to spend a whole weekend hanging out with nearly almost all of my family was great (minus Big Brother who broke his leg - get well soon!).

Last night Leish and Princess_Nicole took me out for a special Japanese birthday dinner. It was stacks of fun on it's own but it got even better when the staff walked out with a birthday cake - candles and all - and starting clapping and singing happy birthday. Leish had told me how polite and welcoming the Japanese people are when she went on her skiing trip last year - it was great seeing it first hand. They kept bowing and loved it when we were thanking them in Japanese. Princess Nicole commented on how enthusiastic Leish was when praising them in Japanese - "Babe - when I speak French or something I mumble it because I'm not sure, but you - you practically shout it at them!" she said.

Leish and Myself with our Japanese groupies

The conversation topics when the 3 of us get together are always amusing. We talked about Nicole having my babies, me coming out, Leish's upcoming mega super fantastic birthday celebrations, work, anal sex. Just the norm really.

I feel good about turning 25. Last year, turning 24 was the first time I found myself in limbo. I was no longer the "young" 21/22/23 year old but not quite old enough to pass off as one of the more mature people. 25 feels just about right. I can joke around and be silly but at the same time I know that I am at a point where I know the industry I work in and my opinion means something (plus people keep telling me I look 22).

The other day I saved myself from financial ruin. For some reason, I wanted the Prada phone. Well I have wanted it for a long time but looking on Ebay and seeing how much cheaper they were than the phone companies spurred me on.

Thank God I have some self control - limited though it might be - over the course of a day I had siphoned $400 out of my budget to get this phone. Bad idea. In the last 4 minutes of the auction I decided that $400 could go towards many, many other things. Like bills for example. Ebay is like a drug dealer I think. At one point I had told myself no - you musn't buy this amazing phone and bang there in my inbox was an email from Ebay telling me that the auction was ABOUT to end in 4 hours time and that I shouldn't miss out. So back on I got - trying to justify it to myself.

Then there is the competition between bidders. I bet every person was thinking "I'm a total Ebay shark, I'll sit here until the last 30 seconds and then put in a bid that will knock everyone else off..." yeah right. I have been pipped at the post so to speak numerous times, typically buying things like a "limited edition David Hasslehoff key chain" or "Fraggle Rock signed script". It all comes down to your internet speed, if you can't refresh that sucker in a matter of seconds - bad luck.

To those people that forgot my birthday - buying me this phone would be an ideal way to make it up to me...

There's a package with my name on it...

2008-05-16T16:55:00.008+10:00

So on June 4th I am heading to a taping of Wil Anderson's new show. The show is called The Gruen Transfer and according to our good friend Wikipedia it has this to say about what the title means -

"The consumer's decision-making consciousness subsides and he or she is more likely to make an impulse purchase because of unconscious influences of lighting, ambient sound and music, spatial choices, visual detail, mirrored and polished surfaces, climate control, and the sequence and order of interior storefronts, etc. The effect is marked by a slower walking pace and glazed eyes".
Apparently the show investigates this theory by disecting our favourite commercials, exploring how advertising works and how it works on us. As with any good show there is a panel of experts to assist. Wait...I just totally realised, this is going to be just like work - except in a different location. Damn.

Yesterday I was going down an escalator and I heard someone doing the old "the escalator is too slow for me" job so I clutched my Louis out of the way of this persons pound, pound down the stairs behind me. As he cruises past me, I say to myself - typical "rastafarian" looking person, no shoes, scarf wrapped around his head. As I perused him from my comfy step on the escalator, I realised it was Guy Sebastian. Apparently he is getting married this weekend too. We have met twice now (well we have come within millimetres of each other) so I guess I can say this - "See you at the wedding on the weekend?".

I need to learn to shut my mouth sometimes. The other day at work I was hanging around Reception and I could see a delivery person on the cameras hanging around at the front entrance (she hadn't buzzed the intercom). I could also see she had flowers so I said I would go and let her in and sign for them. When I get there she chews my ear off about how long she has been standing there for. I politely explain to her that she needed to hold the button down so she could be let in. She didn't really care. After this delightful exchange we part ways. As I am walking back to the Reception area I say in a loud voice "Dickhead!". Well I was horrofied to find that the delivery woman had followed me in and was standing a mere 3 steps behind me. Apparently I had neglected to give her my first name. She didn't register the fact I had hurled abuse at her behind her back (actually more like in front of her with my back to her) - never mind, she got an autograph.

My family are coming to Sydney this weekend - yay! They fly in from the Hobart "International" Airport on Saturday. We are going to have such a great weekend followed by dinner at WildFire on Monday night. Bring on the spoiling of the favourite child.

Can we just talk about Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty hanging out? That is a train wreck waiting to happen. Could two more "off the rails" people get together? It's like the time Britney and Paris starting hanging out - that was for PR but this? This is something else. People would become addicted to crack just by looking at them.

The other day I found the cutest clip on YouTube. It's Vicky Beckham dressing Ellen in heels, aviators, diamonds and a handbag - click here to see it. She actually looks good. I know it was for a laugh but all I could think was wow! Also, Ellen and Portia are getting married. I love the fact that gay marriage is legal in California now, of all places in the world this probaly will provide some much needed media coverage.

Also I noticed this article on the web personally I think the price was to high.

I just had a thought - could you use The Gruen Transfer to trick someone into marrying you/whisking you away to an undisclosed location? Maybe by making odd sounds and weird movements I could trick my target into a relationship...sounds like last call at Stonewall...

Comedy on the Rox

2008-05-14T18:29:00.002+10:00

The beautiful and talented Leish will be performing this evening in Comedy on the Rox. I am so excited for her, she will do great. If not I will beat her when we get home and make her perform to the Jackson 5 to mark the moment.

Wish her luck...

Botox and Sex....in the City

2008-05-12T09:02:00.006+10:00

What is this?

(that's a picture of myself and Adrian Grenier below it)

This is a letter sent to the employees at my workplace offering discount Botox. Yes, discount Botox. Good God, if there wasn't a reason before - now it's on sale?

For emphasis, I have highlighted the line offering the discount and stuck it up next to my computer at work.

This weekend was fun, I spent it at a bourgeois house in Paddington.

House-sitting you dirty pervs.

It was nice to lounge around and watch Foxtel. I like house-sitting, it's like trying a suburb before you commit to a lease. I have decided I like Paddington, it makes me feel like I might bump into Hugh Jackman or Nicky Kidman down at the market.

These people have 2 cats (I'm allergic) and it kills me not to give them affection, but it would also kill me to give them affection. On Friday night we were having a language barrier issue. I fed the cats and mere moments after they had scoffed down their dinner, they were meowing at me. I'm talking to my Mum on the phone whilst this is happening, saying "why do cats meow after you have fed them? What do you want?". I never did figure that out. Crazy bloody cats.

This house also has those little video phones all over so you can pick them up and see if there is anyone at the front door. Rapists for example. I checked alot.

Exhausted on Friday night I took the bus to Kensington to collect the keys to above mentioned pad from Ballerina_Girl (she tutors their kids). On the way out, we got stuck it the traffic lining up to go to the Foot/Skit/Base Ball game at Moore Park. What should have been a 20 minute bus ride turned into a hour long boring stop, start, stop situation. I was lucky enough to get on board in time to get a seat. Not so lucky for me, the seat was next to Old Lady Crazy. Might I add, Old Lady Crazy was Sleepy too. She kept falling asleep and everytime the bus lurched forward and then stopped, she would wake with a snort. I don't think she cared though, she had a Barbie backpack with her name written on it and a lovely cardigan that looked like the skin of a My Little Pony.

On Friday night I also had tickets to Sydney Fashion Weekend. I passed these off though as Nanna and I had a date on the bus. Really I was too tired. One movie premiere this week was enough. That and it is casual clothes on a Friday so I had no time to make myself look remotely acceptable for Fashion Weekend. My "What would Macgyver Do??" T-Shirt from Threadless would have been poo-pooed by the upper crust of Sydney fashion and I wasn't in the mood for a dance-off.

This week has been super stressful in general, by the time I made it back to the city en-route to Paddington on Friday night I was feeling rather sorry for myself.

I thought, if only there was something to tell me that everything was going to be alright? A sign that would shine like a bright beacon in my seemingly clouded end of week slump. Then I saw it and everything felt like it was going to be just fine...

You are crafty Demi Moore...

2008-05-08T14:18:00.008+10:00

Last night I was lucky enough to head along to the Premiere of What Happens In Vegas. All I can really say is I was pleasantly surprised. I actually nearly didn't go, as me in my jammies on the couch watching Ugly Betty seemed like a better option last night, but I am glad I went. The film was quite entertaining and I found myself actually laughing out loud at some points (usually a clear indication of the comedic level of the film).

The general consensus from almost every girl (and girly boy) that saw the film was "Ashton Kutcher - Wow". I never really rated him before but now I totally see why Demi has clung onto him. Even playing a douche-bag, he is hot.

Click on this to see Ashton when he was in V-Man mag (in particular pic 3).

I highly recommend the film to those in need of a light laugh, predictable story line and a bit of a cry (well maybe not that far - perhaps a tear?).

Poor Leishy-Loo is sick as at the moment. We haven't really seen much of each other lately as she has taken to locking herself in her bedroom so as not to infect me. Bless.

I feel a little bit like Zoolander today. I can't turn left. Seriously, I must have slept on a weird angle last night and my neck is paining me. Everytime I turn my head left it hurts.

Actually after just testing that, wherever direction I turn my head it hurts....

Yesterday, Wil Anderson and I shared a joke in the lift. Well I said the joke and he laughed.

Wil Anderson: Hey there

Me: Hi

Wil Anderson: So how are you?

Me: Really good thanks!

Me: Actually I was just flipping through your book in Dymocks

Wil Anderson: Really?

Me: Yeah it was in the discount bin.

Wil Anderson: Hey!! (as he exits the lift)

Me: Kidding. Bye Wil Anderson

...as the elevator doors close, he walks away thinking "gee that guy is pretty funny, I wonder if he would like to be in my next show?..."

(yes that person is me).

Take 2 - Bad Scene...

2008-05-07T13:24:00.005+10:00

I am a bad person.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have an issue with slow, aimless walkers on the footpath. As do the other 50 million people in Sydney trying to get to where they need to be. Usually I just manage a frown and scoot around them.

Yesterday I deliberately caused a scene. I am a scene causer on the streets of Sydney.

As I powered up George Street on my way home, I could see a group of people walking the opposite way to the flow of people. I could see that one of them was going to collide with me if I didn't move as he was "blah blah blahing" to his friends behind him - yes behind - not watching where he was going. I decided, it was his turn to be taught you don't do that.

So I just kept walking - he plowed into me and this was my reaction - it involved a "tutt" and maybe a "jeez!". As you can see - it was fairly confronting.

Am I bad - should I have moved out of his way as per usual? I was wearing my trench which always makes me feel a little more powerful than usual. Maybe it was that?

Tonight I am going to the premiere of What Happens in Vegas - starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher. Princess_Nicole and Leish are my dates but Leish has been struck down with some sort of swollen throaty illness (we're not sure exactly what it is). So she may not attend. I'll let you know how it goes.

Beds, Boys and Beer Pong...

2008-05-05T15:18:00.003+10:00

Credit is the devil's money.

Today I managed to score $4000 credit in around 28 minutes. Skip back to this morning when I was complaining to anyone who would listen how awful it was that I have lived in Sydney since August and still don't own a bed.

I believe this is the reason I am still single.

Nothing says "hey there!" like a single blow up mattress...

No matter how much you try to make it look like a real bed, it's still there. I made up my mind last night when my beautiful laptop nearly became a casualty of the instability of my bed. Thank god for my cat like agility - that's all I can say.

Well the problem is solved now. I am in debt all the way up to my eyeballs and I have to wait 3 weeks but I am now the proud owner of a brand new, yes - brand new - bourgeois bed. Suck on that love life! .

Well the weekend was interesting. Apart from me sitting around the house, we crashed a housewarming party on Saturday night. Funnily enough, this is the second time I have done this with Leish and Princess_Nicole. I see a pattern forming.

I was embarrassingly intoxicated. I am never drinking again. Ever.

I remember admitting to Princess_Nicole that I would "do her" with her new leather jacket on. God even as I write that I am disgusted! I had a conversation with Rohan the Hawk I do not care to repeat or remember and I shared several lovely "man hugs" with a mysterious blonde man. I am guessing he was doing it to show everyone he was comfortable with his sexuality - fine by me. I played "Beer-Pong" too. This is where you have a table and 2 players at each end. You take turns in trying to throw your ping pong ball into one of the other teams numerous cups at their end of the table. If you succeed - they then need to drink the contents of the cup. Not really like Ping Pong at all - but who cared at that point?

James Tobin (aka Jesse Tobin) was at work last week. So was Jennifer Hawkins. Back to James - I know Dior_Boy is going to be very, very unhappy about that. He has a major crush on him. He is shorter than I expected, this is ok though - love weathers all sorts of obstacles.

Models, Singers and Removalists...

2008-04-30T13:10:00.007+10:00

So sorry for not posting lately - I'm going to say things have been busy...very busy.

Yesterday marked the end of one era and the beginning of something beautiful. Leish and I finally made our long awaited move into our new place. You can read all about the mishaps with the truck that we hired - yes hired - to move our stuff with here on Leishblog. It was Will and Grace meets dodgem cars meets the Spice Girls movie...

The whole day was an adventure - from Leish telling the unsuspecting hire car man she had driven a truck before, to the numerous "scenic detours" that we took throughout the day (even with the help of the Sat Nav). We managed to get the truck back in one piece (sort of) and settled in our new home. We even managed to take on that truck driver bravado - believing it gave us the ability to yell out obscenities at unsuspecting drivers, wolf whistle to girls and generally behave badly in a truck that wasn't ours.

By last count we hit 3 curbs, took out one street sign, clipped the edge of a letter box and drove a maximum of 60kmph. But we made it and saved ourselves like three hundred bucks.

Leish and I tottled up to our new local Woolies after we finished unpacking last night. Now this Woolies is famous for it's single nights and large amounts of hot boys that frequent there. Apparently there night during the week where you go along and place a bunch of bananas in your trolley (this signifies your single status) and proceed to shop (for food and a potential mate). Well if last night was any indication, Monday night is going to be fruitful.

Last week I was lucky enough to go to the launch of Australia's Next Top Model. It was a great night to get dressed up and pretend we were "somebodies". Brian McFadden strummed away on his guitar while everyone enjoyed the first episode of the series for 2008. The best part of the night by far were the hot boys in their undies (for no reason) who accompanied the "models" on the catwalk. Aswell as having upstairs at The Argyle all to ourselves. I wanted to throw things at the people downstairs but I was behaving incase there was a wealthy mature man there who wanted someone to spend his many millions of dollars on me. You never know.

Michelle from Biggest Loser trotted around with a newly pumped up top lip. I know I said recently I liked her new haircut but she was shitting me that night. I hate when people walk around like they are something - that's my job.

This morning Dannii Minogue gave me an autographed copy of her new CD. We when I say gave to me I mean Geoff and he then gave it to me. I don't care - she still touched it. I'm sure she meant to give it to me. We do have the same cheek bone structure after all...

Oh yeah - I also rubbed shoulders with Leona Lewis today - literally - she walked passed me at work. Well when I say walked passed, I strategically placed myself in her way so she had to. Can I just say, she is stunning. I have seen the footage from when she was on X Factor in the UK and I think I can say this now - she was average looking - but now, wow you should see her.

I have decided I cannot go on another day unless I have a stylist. How nice would it be for someone to come each day and say "wear this" "pout like that" "put your hand on your hip like this", they would then do your hair and make-up and bang - you hit the press circuit looking a million bucks. Is that too much to ask for? How can celebrities say they are just like us? What they should say is they used to be just like us. Just now they have money and someone to make them look hot? I'm feeling a bitter moment coming on...

Constant Craving...

2008-04-09T09:40:00.008+10:00

So the woman who made coming out cool - K.D. Lang - was in the office today. It was inspiring to see her up close and in the flesh. She was one of the first who pioneered my society after all. I felt like maybe I should bow or in my case curtsy to her. Our Gay Newsreader Geoff interviewed her and just popped over to my desk to tell me how nice she was and to show off his autographed CD. One of my co-workers Clarins_Boy was going to ask K.D. if she would be offended if he called her a "lady-poof" - one of the Account Managers piped up and said "I believe she prefers ottoman"...classic office comedy. So the past few weeks I have been house hunting. I forgot just how tiring it is - and how hideous some of the houses can be. Luckily my new house mate Leish (leishblog.com) and I have similar tastes. We don't ask for much - all we want is luxury penthouse on a youth hostel budget, too much to ask you say?? But really we did find some lovely places, one in particular was presented by a rather dashing young man. Must to Leish and Princess_Nicole's pleasure, I started our conversation by brushing poor future_husband down as he managed to pick up some cobwebs off a bush.... Well I can confidently say that he wasn't into bush.

By the end of the day, Leish and Princess _Nicole had me hosting dinner parties in the new apartment that we didn't even have yet with the boyfriend that also was not yet secured...

Trainer Michelle from the Biggest Loser was also in the office this morning - just quitely, I am liking her more this season. She has obviously enlisted a stylist and her manager is placing her at some bourgeois launches and the like. She was also sporting a new haircut this morning - the bob aka Katie Homes-Cruise style. I had to look twice to see if it actually was her, girl looks good.

Over the Easter break I went home to Tassie to visit the family, that included a visit to Poppy who is in and out of nursing homes at the moment. Now this man has been a constant comedian all my life, but always in the old man sort of way. His puns and jokes would always have an elderly theme. It's hard to explain, as he is the sort of man so disconnected from the world as I know it. He is more into Danny Boy where I am into boys called Danny.

Anyway, so when I went to see him he was cracking funnies (even in his frail state) but then he said the funniest thing to ever escape him in the 24 years I have know him. He was recalling the story of an elderly yet disorientated resident who came into his room at 4am looking for her friend. So he is mucking around telling us she had no pants on (much to the horror of my Grandmother), then he looks at my brother and I and in the most serious voice he can muster he says "I tell you what boys, since she came into my room - all I ever worry about now is being molested". Well we lost it - if there was a trophy for call of the day, he would have got it.

On the weekend I went to Bondi Junction with my little brother who recently moved to the big smoke. It's fun shopping with him, it's like he is my Ken doll and I can dress him up. He looks to me for guidance and a swift yes or no when it comes to style. Since he moved to Sydney, he now owns more labels than the average Tasmanian girl. To my horror he picked up a Saba top that I was pawing when we went into David Jones - I thought what have I created?? - Lucky for me and him they didn't have his size.

On our way back to the cinema, I nearly had total coronary failure right there and then outside DJ's. Current DNA cover model Nigel Paschini walked past me. Oh. My. God. I think my chin is still sore from where it hit the floor. He was stunning, a little shorter than what I expected but incredibly good looking. My brother was alarmed by my state of awe but he couldn't understand why. Well actually I should have said maybe if you saw re-occurring Zoo "model" and BB contestant Krystal walk past us - you could get a feel of what I am getting at.

Well that's about it for now - talk soon...

I had the Gayest Weekend ever!

2008-03-03T16:04:00.007+11:00

I know that's a big call, but it was. Let me see - Let's start at the very beginning, it's a very good place to start...

For some reason I woke up on Friday in a good mood. Whether it was the impending Mardi Gras weekend or the fact it was a leap day - actually that does makes sense. The first time in a long time I woke up in a good mood for absolutely no reason and it happens to be on the one day that only exists every 4 years. My body knows when to pick it - on a semi non-existent day. Next year I won't be able to say "remember that good mood on this day last year?"...

Anyway on Friday one of my clients had an event to celebrate Mardi Gras - cue the gayness. As part of the entertainment for the day we had some Drag Queens perform including the G-L-A-M-O-U-R-O-U-S Ms. Maxi. They were incredibly funny and very talented - cracking jokes at every possible moment. Even taking advantage of the blustery wind and playing on the Marylin pose. Of course they had a little bit more of a surprise under their frocks than what Norma Jean did.

After Friday night drinks at work and a visit to Korean BBQ (this is a restaurant by the way - where you cook your own meat) we made our way to the iconic Stonewall on Oxford Street to see our Gay News Reader Geoff guest MC at a fundraiser for the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation. All night we argued that US entertainment correspondent Richard Reid (as seen on the Today show and heard on the Kyle and Jackie O show) was/was not going to be at Stonewall. Some of us thought he was still in the US - but others said he was here for Mardi Gras. Upon arrival to said bar, we were lucky enough to have my name on the door (thanks Geoff!) so no line waiting for me and my posse! We entered Stonewall and to my surprise - Richard Reid is standing infront of us. Please see photographic proof below.

So we stayed for a bit, watched some Drag, had a few cold ones and bade farewell to the glitter. I think our exit home was a bit premature but I was aware of the fact that my companions for the evening - Mr_Donut_Man and Ms_Mimco were totally straight and looked a little bit "deer in the headlights". Fun was had by all.

Saturday brought the sensation of a religious ceremony. In the AM, I went out for coffee with some 'Mo acquaintances from Tassie who were up to represent our Island State in the parade - then I spent the afternoon getting ready for Mardi Gras. I performed all the ceremonial acts - Tribal body painting (Fake Tanning), I listened to ceremonial music (Kylie Minogue all afternoon) and donned my ceremonial outfit. I have never looked gayer. See photographic poof below (*proof).

Mardi Gras was great - it gave me such an overwhelming sense of pride to watch all of those people marching to celebrate the right to be who we are. It was so colourful and tongue in cheek - I loved it. There was one problem. I tried to rendezvous with my workmates to watch said parade but due to the road closures - we ended up on opposite sides of the street. I waited while they made their way around to me. after about and hour I was aware that I was still alone. I then found out that they had a medical emergency on their way around. Nasty unstoppable bleeding - from the nose. Luckily it wasn't inflicted by one of the 10 thousand drunk teenagers that were prowling Oxford Street. So there I was Single Gay Man - watching Mardi Gras, alone. Single. Gay Man. Mardi Gras. Alone - you get the point? Back to the drunk teenagers - I couldn't get over how their numbers out weighed the gay people watching the parade. Also, how the young heterosexual men kept re-affirming their sexuality by yelling out obscene things and giving their 'bros some "man love". Amusing.

I caught up with one of the gays from work and spent the remainder of the night at the Burdekin on Oxford Street. Soon enough it was time for home. That was my first Mardi Gras and even though it wasn't amazing - it has laid a foundation of high(er) expectations in years to come.

Last week I managed to score some opening night tickets to see The Rocky Horror Show. It was awesome, I took along Fellow_Dancer for the ride - we both thoroughly enjoyed the show. I enjoyed the celebrity spotting just as much though. Some of the highlights of the night were - Virginia Gay and Mark Priestley (All Saints), one of the Veronica Twins (who knew they came apart??), Jade MacRae and Dame Lady Kerrie-Anne Kennerley. The surprise on the night was a guest appearance by Richard O'Brien. He played the original Riff Raff in the movie. It was great to hear him praise the performance and even get up on stage for a rendition of the Time Warp!

To finish off this truly action packed blog - this morning, Mary Murphy from the US - So You Think You Can Dance was in the studio. As she walked past me I wish her "Good Morning" and with a grin said "Where is the Hot Tomali Train?". Her reply was "Toooot toooot!!" (complete with an arm action).

Celeb Spotting Update...

2008-02-07T10:34:00.000+11:00

The Hot Korean Guy from Lost just walked past my desk...he lives up to his name!

Everybody likes Cox...

2008-02-04T13:10:00.000+11:00

Lately I have been enjoying the perks of working in the media industry. Last week Channel 9 popped their heads in and invited me to a special secret squirrel screening of a few shows coming up in 2008.

The first one was the highly anticipated (I don't know that for sure) Cashmere Mafia. Now recently I watched Sex and the City from beginning to end and I cannot wait for more Sex...and the City - in the form of the movie. I had been told Cashmere was going to be the Sex for the "00's". So high expectations were afoot.

I did love the first episode but it is very different from S&TC - in a good way. It was alot darker and full of powerful women. These women are not looking for the perfect guy - some of them married and gag, even have kids. There is some Lesbo action in the first ep and even though it's not S&TC, I can definately see myself watching this show in 08.

The second screening was for a show that I was certain I wasn't going to like. It was the new drama for Channel 9 based on the Gangland wars in Melbourne in the late 90's - Underbelly. I'm not a huge fan of the Drama genre. I would much rather settle for America's Next Top Model over McCleod's Daughters but suprisingly, I actually enjoyed the first episode of Underbelly. It had some familiar faces in the form of Vince Colosimo as Alphonse Gangitano and Caroline Craig as Jacqui James. It's definately one for the grown-ups and I think that people will watch it simply to find out exaclty what happened in the Gangland wars. I guess it's the same reason I liked the movie The Queen, you just want to know what happened behind the scenes. It's that fly on the wall almost voyueristic aproach to TV viewing, but not in the corny Big Brother kind of way.

All in all I was fairly impressed with the line up and look forward to what others offer in competition.

For the last few weeks I have been house-sitting in Paddington. Lovely place, nice people - the house is a bit 'bougios' as Leish would put it. It's nice to be living in a house again as opposed to my ground floor cave of an apartment. I am so moving out when my lease is up. Leish and Princess were to come over for a 'Pool Party' (I guess it still can be with 3 people?) on Saturday - pushed back to Sunday due to inclement weather (which I am secretly loving by the way) then pushed off the schedule due to a repeat on Sunday of the Tasmanian-esque weather. We decided it was a better bet to head to the movies and as I've usually got free movie tickets on my person - it was a good excuse to use them before having to throw them away.

We ended up deciding to see Walk Hard - The Dewey Cox story. It was very funny and perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon. I won't ruin it, but if you love the sense of humour found in Saturday Night Live skits - you'll love this.

Afterwards I must say I had one of the nicest post movie get togethers I have had in a long time. Leish, Princess and Myself sat in the QVB and had eggs on toast with cups of tea and talked about boys. In between conversations, Leish's phone randomly decided it would re-send all of the text messages that hadn't been sent in the last 3 weeks or so. It was quite a spectacle to watch. Leish sort of stopped what she was doing and held her phone out like it had some awful incurable disease everytime it beeped and sent said unsent messages.

The conversation was nice, peppered with lots of "Babes" from all three of us (in gentle mockery of Princess), the eggs were ok for $7 a head and the staff were rude. We glared at each other each time...I don't even know what to name her... Rude/Impatient/Nasty_Waitress made a mistake. At closing time we moved onto Myer where Leish perused the Blackberry's (to replace her Psycho phone) with Princess using her Royal powers of persuasion to get Leish to sign up on the spot. I am sure she works for Vodaphone secretly - I think I even saw her wink to the guy as we walked off. Leish managed to restrain herself and kept 'browsing'. We then made a pit-stop in the ladies department and while the girls poured over the clothing, I kept myself amused by pretending the manequinns were celebrities. Apparently I was chatting to Tyra Banks, Victoria Beckham and Joni from America's Next Top Model - they were all super chatty, then I was asked to leave. Well me and every other person in Myer - no offence taken, they did have to close the store.

That's about it for now - I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for your supporting messages on my last post - it means alot to hear how much you care.

Thanks xxx

I'm Proud...

2008-01-24T17:24:00.000+11:00

I have numerous things I need to write about at the moment but I am going to take 5 minutes and cover the following topic.

This morning I heard a woman by the name of Shirley Phelps-Roper talking to Kyle and Jackie O at the radio station I work at. She is from the controversial Westboro Baptist Church based in Kansas in the US. She was a guest on the show to discuss the fact that her family and church will be picketing/demonstrating at Heath Ledgers Memorial Service in the USA.

On listening to this women describe gay people in many colourful ways (Perverts, Fags, Sinners) she then went on to say that not only will every gay person go to hell - but everyone who "enables" them will too. She loudly illustrate that Heath was "already in hell" for playing Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain and that he used the silver screen to tell the world that God is wrong.

Listen to her rant here

This shook me to my core. As I stood in my office surrounded by my workmates, I suddenly felt alot of those feelings I felt before I came out. Alone, sad and wrong. I then realised that every person including the breakfast team were arguing with this woman, sticking up for people like me, Geoff our Gay News Reader and every other gay person. My sad feelings were replaced with those of support and strength.

This woman quotes the bible and says that it is as clear as day and there is no room for mis-interpretation. I wonder this then - if you believe in this:

20:13
If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death.

Then what about women who lie with women? Are the Lesbians going to heaven? This means that the phrase above is open to twisting it's interpretation. As one listener pointed out, God did not write the bible - I understand it to be a record. It was written by a third party. It's not like God sat down and said guys - get out your hammer and pick - let's make some magic.

I feel sorry for Shirley. She will never know the sense of release when coming out and not being afraid to be yourself. She will never know what it's like to have a gay friend, someone who will love you for who you are and be there for you unconditionally. She will also never feel the heart-ache for those who are yet to make the step - afraid of people like her.

Shirley has 11 children. What are the chances of one of them being gay? What happens then - she casts out one of her own children?

I struggle to write this blog, writing and re-writing parts of it. It's hard enough to be gay - let alone defend why.

If you are reading this and happen to be gay or have a gay friend - tell them how much you care about them. Every little bit helps.

Maybe we can make up for all the hate these people are spreading...

How Much is that Doggy in the Window??

2008-01-10T13:55:00.000+11:00

Last night I had the pleasure of accompanying Ballerina_Girl to the movies. We decided it was well and truly time for a chick flick. Enter 27 Dresses.

I am a huge fan of The Devil Wears Prada and I heard 27 Dresses was written by the same people. Good enough for me. Even though the film was very cliched, it was exactly what I was in the mood for. A predictable plot line, a few laughs and a happy ending. I was however surprised by Katherine Heigl's performance as Jane. She was actually quite good. I don't think I have ever seen anything with her in it (Not a Grey's fan) and with the same line up of A listers doing the circuit of movies at the moment - it was refreshing to see her play an all too familiar role as a 20 something woman - always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

If your up for some easy viewing with your girly girl friends, I highly recommend 27 Dresses.

After the movie, Ballerina_Girl and I indulged in some fancy icecream treats at my new favourite place to get such items. The perfectly named Sugar Plum served us icecream to die for and steamy loose leaf tea. Upon reflection, Ballerina_Girl and I are as weird as each other, ordering one hot thing and one cold thing when at 9pm at night it was a balmy 35 degrees outside.

On our slow walk back to the car, tummies full of icecream, I wandered over to an antiques shop window - peering inside to look at all the old furniture. One of the things I love about Sydney is that alot of stores like these are still lit at night (in Hobart its lights out at 5:30pm). Now I can quite confidently say that I don't often swear out loud (while sober at least) but the below photo will explain why I was scared to the point of soil-ment.

Yes that is a real live dog, sleeping in the store -which according to Ballerina_Girl is quite normal. Scared the fuck out of me...

Why aren't there more Gay Bus Drivers? This question struck me down as I took my seat on the bus the other night on my way home. It was of course not something that just popped into my head (as questions like these would normally), I was heading home with the gorgeous and glamorous Positive Simone. She was coming over to check out my totally rockin' apartment. I put my ticket in the machine paying my $3.00 to get home and as Positive Simone did not have a ticket - she was paying cash. I was taking my seat and I heard the driver say "that'll be $1.80". Someone could have poked an apple in my mouth and I wouldn't have noticed. I have been catching that bus for the past 5 months and I have always paid the correct fare. Never have I ever been given a discount and I'm nice damn it! I smile, I nod, I say thankyou - all this time and I could have been saving myself nearly half of the normal fare! So back to my original statement - I wish there to be more Gay Bus Drivers so I can have discounts.

Lately I have taken to writing all of my "ideas" (lets call them that) down in a little book. Reading through it now, I laugh at some of the thoughts that I deemed "blogworthy". Please see the below -

- Media are reporting Kate Holmes-Cruise was impregnated with the sperm of Scientology Creator Ron L. Hubbard and Suri Cruise is the spawn of said dead prophet and ex-Dawson's Creek "actress". Note to self - uncover mystery of Suri Cruise-Hubbard.

- K-Fed is worried Britney is going to take him and the kids out in a murder suicide - using the gun he gave her for her birthday. Dickhead.

- Nikki Kidman-Urban is Up the Duff. Note to self, write to Nikki asking for her Botox while she's not using it for the next 9 months.

I finally watched the last episodes of Sex and the City last week. Each time I tell someone this (people I know if course) I explain to them I cried whilst watching the last episode. I justify this by telling them that if they watched every single season as intensely as I did - it would have the same effect. I loved everything - the fact Smith came back to tell Samantha he loved her, Miranda caring for Steve's Mother, Charlotte finally getting her baby, Big going to get Carrie. It was just too much. I simply cannot wait for the movie

I am at last going to go to New York City this year. It will mean months and months of saving - but it will be very, very worth it. If anyone would like to offer a tour around the Big Apple - feel free to let me know.

That's it for now...

One small step into 2008

2008-01-03T12:20:00.000+11:00

Ok so here is the number 1 blog for 2008. Better make it a good one. No pressure.

New Years Eve was great. My first one in Sydney and I did it just like I wanted to. I couldn't help but feel a little bad though. Everyone else did the organising and well, I just turned up. Leish cooked the most delicious Lasagne, Rohan 'The Hawk' and gang sorted out the kick arse spot at Cremorne Point. I brought chips. Yeah, "hanger-oner" much?

The beautiful Leish and your truly

I dubbed Leish "Mary Poppins" on the night. She was great. Food, Plates, Napkins, Cutlery, Drinks, Assortment of Cheeses. She might as well have been conducting an Orchestra. Sometimes it's nice to have someone look after you like that though. I highly recommend it.

The fireworks were...pleasant. The 9pm ones were a bit of a let down though, if I were 10 years old I'd be asking for my money back. Although as an adult I should be asking for my money back... then again our Tax dollars were well spent on the midnight fireworks. No matter how old and bitter you get - there's nothing like reflecting on the year that was over some brie and a few million dollars worth of sparklers.

The Fireworks on the Sydney Harbour Bridge

The walk home nearly killed me though. It was a combination of too much Lasagne, a steep hill and sitting on my b-hind for too long. Leish and I parted ways after catching a bus to North Sydney. She gave me some directions to the train station and I was relieved to see the general flow of people traffic was moving towards me, away from the train station. Good I thought - a nice quiet train ride home. Silly, silly boy.

I turned the corner to the street of the station and was faced with approximately 1 million people waiting for the train. Apparently the bridge still hadn't opened at 1am and everyone was waiting to catch a train. So after a few minutes of waiting, I moved with the masses down the stairs to the station. I'll skip to the "sardine like" train ride home where I bowled over a Nanna or two to get a seat and stuck my Ipod in so I didn't have to listen to the drunks. Well I sort of did listen to them in a way as I had Britney Spears on...

It took me in total 2 hours to get home, a trip that would normally take 45 minutes tops.

Happy New Year. I guess this is what it means to live in a big city.

Pocket_Rocket and I went out for Sushi Train the other day. I forgot how much fun it was to eat off a moving device. This was probably the most entertaining sushi I have ever eaten. This particular establishment is Guy Sebastian's favourite place to eat and keeping with the musical theme, they were playing Number 1 hits from the 80's & 90's - the Mariah and Whitney disc.

So Pocket_Rocket and I sat there eating coloured plates of sushi while singing along to hits like "Anytime You Need a Friend" and "I Wanna Dance with Somebody". Whilst we were pretending that we both had a great falsetto like Mariah and Whitney - the chefs making the sushi in the middle of the train thought it was very funny. I wish I knew some Japanese, they would have loved that even more. I wonder what the Japanese word for Diva is?

Now I don't want to build this up too much but the other day I purchased probably one of the best things I have ever had in my possession in 21 years I have been alive...ok it's 24 but who's counting?

It's a print of New York City and in particular the view of the city including the FlatIron Building. Now I am fairly sure this is the building that the bookstore is in, in the Never Ending Story 2 (one of my favourite childhood movies).

I starting searching this on the World Wide Web and found myself reading about the star of the film Jonathon Brandis. I was horrified to read he died! This might seem daggy but I felt really sad - apparently he committed suicide. It's awful when someone imprinted in your childhood memory dies. Like I said - daggy but sad.

I am heading back to Tassie for a long weekend in a couple of weeks, Positive Simone is holding a dance workshop which I am super excited about. My little brother is coming back to Sydney with me for a trial move and job opportunity so we are going to take the boat back to Melbourne and drive to Sydney. Most people might say "Yay! Roadtrip" (well the people I know anyway).

I don't think this will be the case with my 19 year old younger brother. It will be like Pricilla Queen of the Desert meets Talladega Nights. Oh God, help me now...

A final rant for 2007...

2007-12-31T12:41:00.000+11:00

Well this year has been a massive one. There are so many points I would like to cover in this blog, let's start with something more recent.

So the other night I take myself off to my favourite Westfield in the land (Bondi Junction) to see The Golden Compass - starring the one and only Nikki Kidman-Urban.

Now before any judgement is made - there is nothing wrong with going to the movies alone. It's just like watching TV at home alone except you are surrounded by couples - who insist on "snuggling" and first dates who insist on trying to impress each other by scoffing at the previews and saying "what will they remake next?". That annoys me. I love all remakes. Well almost all of them.

Anyway, so I am sitting there - popcorn - check. Diet Coke - check. The two always go together... I digress. I take a sip of my chilled overpriced beverage and feel a trickle go down my top. I look down in the dim light to see the damage. It wasn't a trickle. It was a fucking small flood - all over my white Polo Ralph Lauren top. Need I say more. Thanks to the poorly lit cinema - I was able to mop most of it up with my emergency stash of "Wet Ones" (bless you!) without any fellow movie goers looking at me as I was frantically trying to avoid a stain. Thankfully at the end of the movie - the offending stain was no where in sight.

Now to the movie. I loved it. I have also been told the books are excellent and I am going to make the purchase. The only awkward thing (besides the abrupt ending) was a scene in the movie where Nicole Kidman's character collapses and needs assistance to get up. I could have sworn the guy that helped her up also helped himself to one of her "Golden Compasses".

I also did some TV shopping whilst at The Junction. Thanks to my witty charm and beautifully long eyelashes, I was able to secure a stunning white LCD TV for a great price. I also managed to extend the hold period from 2 hours to 2 weeks. The attendant was very helpful, married and an old perve I imagine. Don't judge - I have come across this before. For those who know me intimately I reference to the "Taxi Incident" in Melbourne.

I should also mention that my apartment is finally looking like something from Home Beautiful - many thanks to Mr. Mastercard and the lovely letter he sent me right before Christmas.

It is currently 2:17pm and we have been given the a ok to leave for the day and start our celebrations. I am heading over to Cremorne Point with Leish for my first NYE in Sydney. Hopefully she won't be too hammered by the time I get there. Better take the camera (thanks Santa) - could make for a good blog.

Now is the time I will reflect on the year that was - 2007.

Some points of interest were...

Bad/Difficult

- Having my heart broken

- Being robbed

- Leaving the safety of my hometown, friends and family

- Watching Britney Spears go down hill

Good/Fun

- Finally moving to Sydney

- Getting a kick arse job with one of the top media companies in Australia

- Being re-united with my friends Ballerina_Girl, Leish and Positive Simone

- Discovering my love for blogging

- Going to the Bee Movie Premiere and being metres from Jerry Seinfield

- Going to Australian Idol

- Seeing the Black Eyed Peas

- Standing next to Zac Effron

- Seeing James Blunt walk in front of me

- Watching Ms. Delta Goodrem perform on Idol

- Walking past Deborah Lee Furness (that's seeing Hugh Jackman by default I say)

- Being millimetres from Gwen Stefani

- Having my photo with Adrien Grenier

- Sneaky Sound System playing at my Christmas party

So 2007 has been an amazing year. I had a list when I moved to Sydney. It consisted of 1.Getting a Job 2. Finding somewhere to live and 3. Making Anthony Callea fall in love with me. All I can say is 1 and 2 done. Also have you heard? Anthony is now single again...

I really want to thank everyone who has encouraged me to write here. You telling me how much you enjoy reading my blog makes me want to write more. It's nothing special - it's just my life and if that provides enjoyment for you - then that makes me happy. So thankyou x

I would like 2008 to bring many things. Below is a list for whoever is in charge of that sort of stuff...

In 2008, I would like -

1. To travel overseas

2. Love

3. More celebrity encounters

4. Happiness for my loved ones

5. For Britney Spears to get better

6. To meet Victoria Beckham

I hope you all have a fantastic New Year and I look forward to writing more for you all in 2008.

Be safe,

- J

xxx

Nutcrackers and Christmas Parties...

2007-12-20T09:06:00.000+11:00

Firstly, I must apologise for not updating for such a long time - things have been crazy for me at the moment. It is Christmas and all.

There are a stack of things to tell you so had better just get stuck into it.

So about a week ago my work had our Christmas Party. Before I explain this - might I just say there were pretty high expectations for this party as the other staff had talked it up a bit. The norm is fancy dress and there is usually a pretty hot guest act on the night. Needless to say it delivered on all aspects.

The theme was "Fire & Ice and Naughty & Nice". Personally I thought this allowed probably a little bit too much creative licence but anyway. After alot of thinking (I know - shocked?) I came up with a majorly hot idea. It did involve some self discrimination - but don't all the best costumes? If anyone is familiar with the UK series Little Britain - I decided to go as Vicki Pollard. Surprisingly on my strict budget, I was able to pull together the ultimate Vicki Pollard costume. From my hideous blonde wig and 80's blue eyeshadow to my trackies. I was a mess (in a good way).

Pocket_Rocket and Myself as Dominatrix and Vicki Pollard

The guest act on the night was none other than Sneaky Sound System - I know - cool right? So the night was a blast, I managed to stay upright and in character all night (ref. all photos taken of me flipping the bird and poking tongue out).

Sneaky Sound System

Last night I had dinner with Ballerina_Girl to exchange presents and hang out. We always seem to get each other the best presents are and equally pleased about giving the present and receiving one. She got me the cutest Moleskine Notebooks (for all my blogging notes), Kikki-K Pen, Keyring and bookmark. I got her a pick your own eyeshadow palette from Inglot. We rule. While we were flashbacking on the past year - I remembered a story from when we went to see Idol at Fox Studios a little while back and accidentaly forgot to mention it here. We were discussing a clever and ingenious way to slip it in without drawing attention to my lapse in memory...to late now so here it is. I was on my to Fox in a Cab, Ballerina_Girl was already on site. She called me to tell me where to meet her and I said - I'm in the cab about to drive past you - stick your hand up in the air so I can see where you are. As she does this a number of things happen. 1. She sticks her arm stright up in the air 2. I see her 3. Nova's Akmal drives past in his beat up car 4. Akmal thinks she is waving to him 5. Akmal waves back politely. Funniest thing ever - it was like watching scene out of a movie. One day I will catch up with Akmal and we will all laugh about it - either that or he will ask me to move out of his way so he can keep walking...

A couple of weeks ago the beautiful Fellow_Dancer invited me to accompany her to see The Nutcracker. I know, how fab - Sydney Opera House, The Nutcracker at Christmas?? I was loving it. The peformance was amazing, the venue - unreal. The dancers were so talented and flitted around the stage effortlessly (the girls weren't bad either!).

Myself and Fellow_Dancer at The Nutcracker

My favourite scene was the Goose ride - very clever set design and might I say - it takes a bit to impress me (if you can't tell that). I know when I am impressed as I start to call people who I think might be jealous.

The whole experience was so Will and Grace. I even managed to steal some sneaky pics when we sat down.

I promise I won't dwell on the following too much.

Jamie Lynn Spears is Up The Duff.

Christ almighty - the things siblings will do to drag the spotlight off each other. Next Britney will shave her head or get out a car with no undies or marry someone in Vegas or steal a lighter. Oh wait - yeah Jamie Lynn has a bit of catching up to do hey?

Train Wreck and Car Crash

So I am heading home to Tassie for Christmas - should be really nice. Bring on the presents, I say.

I should be able to blog if we can the river to run to power the city to get the internet going. Ha! I jest - we don't have electricity!

Be good!

As normal as it gets...

2007-11-27T13:18:00.000+11:00

This weekend was distinctly void of the usual glitz and glamour of late - which was a nice change. It was my weekend to catch up with friends and get lost in the hustle and bustle of a big city.

I caught up with Positive Simone for a dose of just that. I remember Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) describing Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) as a friend that is warm, cuddly and comfortable. I must say this is a fitting description for Positive Simone. We spent the latter part of Saturday (Date Night) hanging out. We visited our favourite indulgence - Sizzler. Now some of you may poo poo this idea, but for us - it is still fun.

Sizzler was savagley ripped from Tasmania when we were still children (some crazy report of un-hygenic practices etc) so to be able to still have cheese toast and apple crumble some 10 years later, brings back some memories.

Sunday I had a little adventure.

I remember on the way out to Sizzler (on the train) spotting a Spotlight.

[Sidebar: Is this what my life has come to you ask? Excited at the prospect of a store that most Nanna's visit frequently? All of a sudden I am having a vision of me curled up in a corner with assorted novelty buttons and a glue gun, mumbling about faux fur trim being back in this seas. Yes is the short answer - this is what it has come down to].

I want to have a curtain damn it. I have one big mother of a window in my apartment and I wanted more than the boring blind that is on it now. My inspiration comes from Brian Kinney's apartment in Queer as Folk. I want that. Big flowy white ceiling to floor curtains. So, I measure everything, get to Spotlight, buy a pole, the material, brackets, 3M tape (no screws allowed) and carry all of it back on the train. Can you picture it? Me on the train with a 2.5 metre pole. Everyone looked at me like I was holding a weapon of mass destruction. I got on the very last car of the train as not to annoy anyone but it seems that some wankers need to sit in the same car as me, even though there are fifty others to choose from. Back to the window - well it seems my measurements were slightly out. Nothing fitted, the pole - too short, the material - not long enough, the 3M tape - not sticky enough. I ended up throwing a tanty (and the pole) and gave up. Never mind, I'll have another stab at it next weekend. The dream is still alive.

Sunday I caught up with Ballerina_Girl and we went to see the funniest movie I have seen in a long time - Death at a Funeral, directed by Frank Oz.

My Investagatory Journalist skills tell me that he has been involved in everything from The Muppets to Star Wars. This film was exactly what I needed, it was funny in a typically British way. I laughed out loud that many times and nearly clapped at the end. The movie stars actors like Alan Tudyk (Knocked Up) and Rupert Graves (V for Vendetta) and a hilarious performance from Peter Vaughan as Uncle Alfie with his 'touch and go' toilet scene - I was laughing the whole way through. Simply put - go and see it.

Recently I installed some software to tell me a little bit about where my readers are coming from and how many etc. So a big hello to my return readers and the newbies from the US, Japan and France (sorry no celebs this week) (although Matt Corby and Australian Idol winner Natalie Gauci were in yesterday, hanging out near my desk).

Anyway, have a great week...

Movie Premiere + Celeb Spotting + TV shoot = tired Justin

2007-11-20T08:47:00.000+11:00

Last night I was fortunate enough to attend the "Black and Yellow" carpet Premiere for The Bee Movie starring Jerry Seinfield and Renee Zellweger. I took along one of my besties Leish as I remembered her having a thing for Jerry (this I underestimated but i'll get to that later) as he was going to be in attendance.

The Premiere was very exciting, we had special V.I.B (get it) passes and the State Cinema is simply stunning. Now Leish and I work well together in situations like these, both of us understanding the need to loiter inappropriately in the case of seeing/touching/bumping into a minor/major celeb. We secured our seats and then went for a wander around before the movie started.

The "Black and Yellow" carpet (and our shoes)

There was a certain buzz (ok I'll stop) in the cinema, everywhere you looked there were minor celebrities. Let me see, now I am trying to remember who I saw - and I'll rank them in order of interest. Peta Wilson (from La Femme Nikita), Ita Butrose said "Excuse Me" as she sashayed passed me, Jono Coleman (friend of Leish's), Aaron Jeffrey (from McLeod's Daughters), comedian Julia Morris, Julia Zemiro (another friend of Leish's), Karl from Idol, Richard Wilkins, BUT the one who took the cake was the Queen Fag Hag of them all, Ms Deborah Lee Furness. I was quick to sniper the area and look for her "husband" Hugh but alas he was no-where to be seen. She did however bring another 'Mo with her - not doing those rumours to much good hey?

The beautiful State Cinema

Now after the movie - which was very funny, some great humour and classic Jerry jokes. We loitered (again) out the front for Jerry to leave so Leish could fulfill her destiny and marry him (or get close to him - which ever comes first). I had my savvy/high-tech camera phone out (we have discussed the ability of my camera - Santa, I would like one for Christmas please??) then Jerry walks out of a side door and Leish surges forward with the group of people there, getting some great pics of Jerry. All of a sudden I put my camera phone down because it was so nice just watching the joy on Leish's face as she got close to the man himself. That and the fact she went from professional TV person talking about TV stuff on the phone to TV people, to "Kid in a Candy Store" within a few seconds. So cute.

I promise you that is a picture of Jerry Seinfield

Upon telling her this, she asks "did you get a picture of me doing that then?", damn it - my investagatory journalist skills are not as sharp as I thought. I totally forgot to take a picture - never mind.

Now as if that wasn't enough, afterwards Leish and I went to Channel 10 as she had to get to the last shoot of Friday Night Download (the show she has been working on) and asked me to come with. Wow I thought - movie premiere and TV shoot in one night? So I walk in and take a seat up the back (you know me, blend in), we are about to start filming and the audience stirrer upper (??) sees the one empty seat at the front row of the audience. She then asks - do we have a single? Is anyone here by themselves? No-one answers and I put my hand up meekly and everyone turns around and looks at me. So I move down the front and to ease my own discomfort at being there alone (Leish had to do work stuff) - I say to no-one in particular "I'm single too, if anyone wants to know". Yeah - funny! The token loud-mouth girl says "Wow - you have a Louis Vuitton bag, so your forgiven!!"..."Great, thanks" I say.

So anyway, the process of watching how a show is filmed was very interesting. So I probably wasn't the best person to have in the front row - I was not so good at screaming, clapping and the like. I must say though - Ms Bree Amer, not such a lovely person. Fitzy and Mike G - very funny. Bree, not so much. Which is a real shame, watching her on BB I thought she may have been nice. I hope for her sake, she was having a bad night. It was funny however, hearing the audience members behind me bagging her out . Speaking of audience members, our audience was split into 2 distinct groups. The couples/TV show groupies/single gay men group and the hot/under 18 group. I was obviously placed in the wrong group.

All in all it was quite an action packed night, I have no idea what I will be doing next week - now that I have set the standard with Idol last week, Movie Premiere's and Friday Night Download this week. I hope you all like stories about me doing Laundry or Housework...

I am catching up with Positive Simone this weekend however, she is like my very own Mary Poppins - in designer dresses - bless.

By the way, thankyou for the massive response from my previous blog about Leish and I being single and available. Please see the number of responses below.

Leish - 0

Justin - 0

Talk soon,

- J

A night with Idol...

2007-11-13T13:13:00.000+11:00

Have a guess where I went Monday night?

That's right - Australian Idol. It was so much fun. Actually I surprised myself just how much I turned into a screaming "idolizer" at the most inappropriate times. My bestie Ballerina_Girl came with and was quite tolerant of my excitable attitude even though she was supremly sunburn-ed. She kept asking me to feel different parts of her body to see how hot she was...Yeah we are in that place. Gay Guy/Straight Girl Protocol.

So back to Idol. I managed to get a few sneaky pics on my phone before we were all to put them away. I felt in a way that I was being repayed for missing out on most of the series as I still don't have a TV at home, by being allowed to go to the last studio show before the Opera House. It really was heaps of fun. The best part of the night by far were the guest performances. Delta Goodrem was her amazing self - dressed in an Liza inspired poncho and typically barefoot. I was facsinated at how Delta seems to be vocally morphing into Celine Dion. I know she has written some tracks for Celine lately but it sounds as though she too has taken a leaf out of C.D's book aswell as her chequebook. Ms. Marcia Hines was great too. She sang "Everybody Hurts" which was a nice change from the recent disco fever that she has been engulfed in. Might I just say, Marcia is a very fit woman. I think I have written this before but she has "Madonna Like" guns and looks like she could outrun any fan any day. I found myself sitting behind her last night thinking how many wigs they must have for her. Random thought I know, but relevant all the same.

On the weekend, Leish and I went to the marvel of cheapness that is K-Mart. We looked at all the questionable tops that they try and sell - and the couple of hidden treasures aswell. Leish worries me sometimes, she seems to bring out the child in me - which is great - but we managed to take silly photos of her holding up tent size bloomers in the underwear department, I broke a curtain fixture after her heckling me to "force it" then we finished off the excursion with an icecream and tried to figure out why we are still both single. I love it. See we have a little wager going to see who is going to catch the elusive boyfriend first. I really feel she is going to win. Guys, if you are a) hot b) not crazy and c) looking for an amazingly talented and funny girlfriend - see me as I know where to point you. Oh yeah and if you change the above to just a) hot and b) a boy - I'm free too.

I blame Sarah Jessica Parker for my singular status. I have been watching Sex and the City non-stop for the last few weeks, thanks to Positive Simone who lent the DVD's to me. Now I am of the belief that the characters and story line have some sort of "Davinci Code Like" power where it can be related to any persons situation. Gay, Straight or Ugly. I am Carrie, I have a Samantha (Dior Boy), a Charlotte (Ballerina_Girl) and a Mr. Big (BMW_Boy). After a recent trip back to Hobart to catch up with some old friends and him, I could have - excuse the french - slapped the fuck out of him. I won't go into any details, but lets just say he pulled a total Mr. Big/Natasha on me.

I cannot wait for the Sex and the City movie to come out...

Close Encounter with the Black Eyed Peas

2007-10-31T12:27:00.000+11:00

So last night I went to see the Black Eyed Peas. In short - it rocked. Whole afternoon was fairly impressive. I had a bonding session with my workmates at the Paddo Lawn Bowls. Who knew Lawn Bowls could be so much fun after 1 or 10 drinks? Then after that I was whisked away by a colleague to the show at Fox Studios.

I have to admit I am the kind of person who would pay out Fergie once upon a time but seeing her in the flesh (what's left of her own) last night was certainly an eye opener. She has a great voice and sang alot of her own stuff from The Dutchess, including Big Girls Don't Cry and surprise surprise I was surprised.

Mind you I will not pass up the chance to talk about her surgery. Girl has had alot of work done. I'm guessing eyes, lips, nose, face, botox, boobs at a quick glance. But I will also say - she looks hot and must have to work hard. Who wouldn't for Josh Duhamel. Below is a pic of her onstage, which reminds me I need to buy a camera. My phone is too full of video call technology to handle a great camera.

I was such a Nanna though. I kept thinking to myself - I am loving this but my feet hurt, the beer buzz has worn off and I am tired. It was a Tuesday night afterall. But I managed to stay until the end and crawled into bed at around 12:30am. Not bad.

Getting to the concert was just about as much fun, my above mentioned colleague offered to give me a lift as her brother was picking her up on the way. As we were standing on busy George Street waiting for his car, I asked what kind it was and she said "oh he'll probably bring his ute"... I hated to point out the obvious - "so how many seats does this ute have?". Hmm, the answer a couple of minutes later was 2. 3 passengers does not equal 2 seats. So she says, "don't worry, I'll climb in the back (where all of her brothers tools are) and hide under the tarp". Now most people would have managed to keep all laughing and photo taking to themselves. Not me. I will however only include the photo that doesn't show her face, but does prove she makes a convincing pile of blah in the back of the ute.

On the weekend, I caught up with one of my favourite girly girl friends, Leish (as apposed to one of my girly boy friends). We went and had mannies and peddies. To my utter shock, Leish had never had either. I was horrified to say the least. She did look gorgeous though and was very conscious about not bumping her freshly lacquered nails. We also bounced around the city, wound up in Lincraft where Leish pretended she was one of those dancers with the tassles on their boobies. All the Nanna's in Lincraft gave us the daggers as we left promptly.

This weekend I am heading back to Hobart for the a short weekend break, should be nice catching up with some friends and what not. Knowing me, I will act like a total tool - pretending I'm real cool 'cause now I live in Sydney. I can be such a dick sometimes. At least I'm aware of it.

James Blunt just walked past my desk...

2007-10-17T17:37:00.000+10:00

As I sit at my desk right now, James Blunt is upstairs doing a sound check for a cosy performance he is doing at my work tonight. Now I like James' music as much as the next person - but hearing this guy sing live (and metres from my desk) is amazing. He has an amazing voice and I am jealous I'm not going.

Laters,

- J

It's been too long...

2007-10-15T18:24:00.000+10:00

Hi there,

I am so sorry, it has been way too long but that's what happens when you grow up and have a "grown up" job... that plus no internet at home yet!

Well what has been happening then? Heaps.

Lets do the celeb spotting first - Who have I seen from my desk lately?

- Kristy Hinze

- Daughtry

- The Veronicas (Australia's answer to the Olsen twins)

- Ricki Lee

Oh yeah and I had my photo with this guy...

His name is Adrien Grenier and he is most famous for starring in the show Entourage but for me it was the fact he was in The Devil Wears Prada. I nearly had a Diva Fit when I couldn't find my copy of this when I was packing to move here. Lucky I found it - no one had to die.

So I was excited about having my pic with him until my good gal pal Jen reminded me he had bumped uglies with Paris Hilton. I wasn't sure how this made me feel. Dirty? Yeah but for 2 different reasons. I did shake his hand after all. All the same it was a celeb siting. I would have posted the original photo but I look like a total fugly bitch (in the words of Ja'mie King) and isn't that what the internet is all about? All the good bits and no bad photos? I might ask Jen to photo-shop it and then I'll think about it.

Other than that, work has been crazy bizzie - which is good. I feel like a real grown up. That is until I hear a celeb or see and entourage of people and go screaming down the office to see who it is.

Oh God, I nearly forgot to mention when Joey Fatone came in. It was a tad tragic. He and his "hanger-oners" were in the elevator in the lobby and they asked me and my work colleagues to join them... Ah, how 'bout no? Then we couldn't get in the next elevator and laugh about the whole situation. I showed off my "boy band" moves (the sad face, slow motion head turn etc etc) and remembered the n'Sync songs. My thought pattern then moved to what did he do exactly? Hummed in the background I suspect. He even admitted to being bailed up by a fan when he didn't know the words to an n'Sync song "cause he just did the background vocals". So sad.

Ma and Pa were over on the weekend, it was nice to go out for dinner...and breakfast and lunch. I think we may have even had an afternoon tea somewhere in the middle of all of that. They came and had a look at my new apartment - shared in my self pity as I have no furniture...hint hint.

Sunday was spent at a fantabulous tea party at Positive Simone's (thanks Leish). We had real tea cups and real tea party food. It was fun. The bus ride on the way home was even funner though. Aside from the ever entertaining Leish (- seriously, girl is like a little personal entertainment unit. Full of jokes, stories and the like) but I couldn't help be distracted by the "people" at the front of the bus. They were stylishly dressed in this seasons Lowes tracksuit, with boobs that looked like they could suffocate someone unfortunate to be at hip height. I glanced occasionally, expecting to see a small person trapped under them. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Ok - so by about now I am the last person in the office and yeah, I totally have a life. Capt'n Jack Harkeness awaits me in my furniture-less apartment.

Hopefully something interesting will happen on the bus.

Laters,

- J

My Close Encounter with Guy Sebastian

2007-09-14T16:33:00.001+10:00

So this Wednesday marked my 1 month anniversary here in Sydney. I did a little re-cap of my list of things to do from a few blogs back.

Move to Sydney - tick, Get a Kick Ass job - tick, Find a house - cross, Make Anthony Callea fall in love with me - cross. Hmm 2 out of 4 - not too bad.

Finding somewhere to live here, not so easy. I am having real issues with the Property Managers here. None of them seem to understand a couple of relatively straight forward things.

Please enjoy the following mis-communications/translations:

Person 1: I work full time, can I see the property outside of work hours or on the weekend?
Property Manager: Great! The inspection time is 9am on Friday!

Person 1: I just moved here from Hobart and I really am in need of somewhere to live...
Property Manager: And?...

The property is described as...

Cosy = similar sizing to a mobile phone...battery
Older Style = Don't look at the stains on the carpet/walls/bathroom ceiling
Well Presented = No dead bodies
Security Building = Doors have locks
Fully Renovated = Owner painted themselves
Bachelor Pad = Keep looking

So today I was out for lunch with the girls and who should stroll by and see us, stop and proceed to hug and talk to our receptionist (who was also having lunch)? Just Guy Sebastian. Yeah I am trying to be all cool about this as this is how situations like this must be handled (apparently). I was excited, I also made a mental note not to stare as per my Zac Efron experience. My only criticism of Guy was, boy was wearing too many colours! He had more fluro on than a council worker. I guess he didn't get the memo on black being the Sydney standard uniform.

Saw Hairspray on Wednesday night, the other people in the cinema were lucky I wasn't up singing and dancing along to "Good Morning Baltimore". I don't care what anyone says, I think John Travolta makes a great Momma (in that Mrs. Doubtfire kind of way).

Well wish me luck house hunting on the weekend...

- J

The Sydney Life Continues...

2007-09-09T18:46:00.000+10:00

Oh. My. God...

Today I stood within arms reach of Zac Effron. Yes the tanned man himself. Mr High School Musical. Little Miss Hairspray. You get the idea.

I neglected to mention that my new job (which is totally awesome) is with the Austereo Network. For those of you not in the know, they own radio stations such as 2Day FM (with Kyle and Jackie O on breakkie and Hamish and Andy) Triple M (The Shebang with FiFi Box and Marty) and a stack more around the country. They are also the number 1 radio station (2Day) in Sydney. Anyway, back to Zac. So there I was standing at my desk for no apparent reason staring...nay...ogling Zac Effron. I kid you not he was standing talking to some people after his interview with Kyle and Jackie and I was within molesting range. Todays blog may have been called - Today I met Zac Effron - had I not forgotten how to use my brain.

I did however realise that I was the only person at their desk standing in the office which was kind of weird so I sat down. Only to stare some more. The other girls got some laughs out of it later, teasing me that a line of dribble ran down onto the floor. It so didn't.
I msg'd Dior_Boy as soon as Zac sashayed out and told him. He is a total Zac fan and had a minor "Zac-attack" after calling me a bitch. Gotta love it.

Besides that, Jules Lunde from Getaway opened the door for me the other day and Dicko had a meeting behind me, Jackie O nearly ran into me as I walked out of the toilet and I have stared at anyone else who was worth staring at. Celebrity or not. I have a funny feeling that I am going to have quite a few of these encounters to talk about as everyone else in the office was like - eh? So?
So my bus ride home was interesting tonight. As it is APEC weekend here in Sidders, things are a little crazy. It is so funny to watch the locals have minor panic attacks about the whole situation - so I decide to take a different bus home. I was feeling adventurous, plus I knew it eventually went along my street. I am getting a bit sick of standing for the whole bus ride and those who know me, know I don't deal with close range strangers very well. So I get on this nice semi-empty bus and take a seat faaaaar away from everyone else. I just want to listen to my iPod and enjoy my ride home. Then it starts, I see this weird guy get on the bus and momentarily think I see him holding up the bus driver (not literally), not so. APEC must be getting to me. Then out of anywhere on the bus, he decides to sit behind me and proceed to breathe the 10 pints of beer he drank seconds before getting on the bus, down my neck. Seriously, I was tipsy from the fumes. So while I am dealing with this, a girl gets on the bus - she catches my attention by the attractive faux leopard print fur jacket she is wearing *spew* and her lovely red skirt *vomit*. So she sits infront of me and proceeds to put her greasy over producted hair over the seat and in my lap *regurgitate*. I am thinking of ways to resolve the situation. Should I politely ask her? No thats not the Sydney way. Should have coughed on the back of the bitches head, that would have made her move. Instead I perform a move deserving of a place in Cirque D' Solei and get out of her hairs way.

That reminds me of another bus story I must tell. It was a rather interesting conversation between two girls on my bus ride home. Lets call them Bogan_ArtistGirl and Mop_Head. So I hear the conversation part way through and it goes something like this.

Bogan_Artist Girl: Yeah so what I want is this chick I know whose like a ballerina to stand on my car and dance while people throw toilet paper from the sides and I'm going to film it.
Mop_Head: Right so what are you trying to say?
Bogan_ArtistGirl: Nothing
Mop_Head: Yeah, but what are you trying to say?
Bogan_ArtistGirl: Well nothing, people can make up their own mind what it means. It's "Arty" - trust me.
Mop_Head: Right

Their second conversation is just as interesting.

Bogan_ArtistGirl: So what I am going to do is sit up just like those kids had to when they were tortured for hours on end. I'm gonna do it for like a whole day...and I'm gonna film it.
Mop_Head: What? Sit up for the whole day? That would kill!
Bogan_Artist Girl: Na, not for the whole day then, maybe just 10 minutes - cause that would feel like hours anyways.
Mop_Head: Yeah, well I can film it for you if you want.
Bogan_Artist Girl: Yeah cool, just one problem. I don't have a video camera.

At this point I nearly turn around and ask them if what they were just acting out a creative piece on fricken idiots or what? You could not write shit like that.

Well I hope you are well, Ma and Pa are coming up on the weekend. We are going to Rockpool for dinner - should be awe-some.

Be good,
- J
xxx

The Sydney Life Begins

2007-09-09T18:45:00.000+10:00

Hi there, how are you?

So it's been 2 and a half weeks since I arrived here in Sydney. Thank frickin' god on Friday I got a job. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping in and having absolutely sweet F.A to do all day - but I forgot to water my money tree and the bloody thing has gone and died on me!
So, exciting week for me. I can proudly tell you that I am pretty almost nearly sure this is the hardest I have ever had to work for a job. I turned 2 down before finding the one I wanted. Scary much - oh yes! But at the end of the week, I am working for the number 1 radio station in Sydney so worth it I say.

So like I said - here I am in Sydney - the city where the gay boys are thinner than some of the skinny straight girls...I kid you not. It's nice though, I come from a city where people would wear their jammies to work if they could (no offence Hobart people - you know I love youse). Here in Sydney, if you want milk - please make sure that you are wearing at least one recognisable label or don't even bother. When you do get to the shop - don't get milk, it's fatty - just buy Evian.
But I must say there are the few exceptions that I can still chuckle at. Like the woman at the restaurant where I went for dinner last night (I'll get to that), she looked as though she had never worn a pair of heels in her life and successfully managed to impersonate a drunk dinosaur when going to the bathroom. What restaurant I hear you ask? Altitude I believe it's called - at the top of the Shang ri'La (??) Hotel. Simply amazing. Didn't pay. Even better.

So now I need to find somewhere to live. Not so easy. Sad for me I have high expectations and little cash. I want Penthouse apartment for backyard shed rental price. I looked at two "apartments" we will call them yesterday. Reminded me of a match box. If it wasn't for the hot property manager I would have been even more miffed that I waited for 45 minutes (he was late) to see a room my hair wouldn't even fit into. Side Bar - Take note: if you are hot, you can pretty much get away with anything in my book...almost.

Next apartment - I walk in to find the Property Manager being cuddled by his "lady friend". Not hot at all. I nearly walked back to the front door to ask him where the secret door knob was to see the rest of the apartment but on second glance, that seemed to be all there was.

These are the things I like about my new city: Hot Boys, Shopping, Trains, Anonimity, Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, The View...

These are the things I do not like so much about my new city: Hot Boys, Homeless People, High Rent, Buses, Fold Out Beds, Rush Hour...

Well I hope that gives you a bit of an idea of what I have been up to. My first day of work is tomorrow and I am currently having a minor panic attack as to what to wear... I should just cut out a Chanel logo from a magazine and stick it on myself - no one would look twice.

Hope you are well,

- J
xxx

I'm here...

2007-09-09T18:44:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I made the move to Sydney and I am currently on my best girlie friends computer in my jammies writing this.

Here is a bit of a report on my trip...

My Flight -
So I did the whole goodbye thing with the family *cue the tears*. After waving around 50 times I made my way out onto the tarmac and it hit me - this is it, I am leaving my family and everything I know for somewhere that I know nothing about and approximately 4 people. So there I was, looking hot, eyebrows waxed, hair freshly done carrying my Louis Vuitton and I have the urge to cry uncontrollably. I am around 10 steps away from getting onto the plane. This is not alot of time to pull oneself together. A few deep breathes, by the time I get to the bottom of the stairs, I'm OK. I climb the stairs - cursing myself for packing so much into my carry on - get to the top - once again looking hot, eyebrows - check, hair - check, Louis - check - and I trip on the last bloody step! The air steward looks at me with this look that says "have you been drinking/are you about to have a heart attack?". I recompose and take my seat. Not a great start but at least I didn't go hurtling back down the stairs and make nice with the tarmac. I assess the crowd. I am sitting next to a girl who thinks it's ok to wear her gym clothes on the plane. Opposite me is a mannish woman or the other way around - not too sure. No noisy children, thank god and then...bingo. One hot male air steward. Everything is going according to plan until he spends nearly all of the 1 hour and 45 minutes up the other end of the plane. So I settle for the hotness of John Barrowman (Torchwood's Captain Jack) via my laptop instead.

The Arrival -
So I arrive blah blah...skip to the good stuff. Below is a list of things that happened whilst I was awaiting Ballerina_Girl to collect me.

1. An Asian Taxi driver thinking he was in a WWF Smackdown match with one of those taxi director men (who rudely usher you into the cabs). I have no idea what they were fighting about but the Asian guy was going to seriously Bruce Lee the other guy any tick of the clock.
2. A mother nearly causing her child to get run over. She seemed to be trying to carry a baby, dragging a suitcase and guiding this child over what seemed to be a make-shift racing lane for every car in Sydney. This poor kid nearly walked out infront of a car only to be yanked by his rat's tail back to safety.
3. An elderly Nanna on walking sticks climb, yes CLIMB into a 4WD. It was so funny - the family were complaining about other people taking their disabled park while waiting for the car - how about getting a car that Nanna can get into???

If you haven't noticed - I am a bit of people watcher, they do the silliest things sometimes.

So here is my list of things to do now that I am in Sydney.
1. Get Job
2. Get House
3. Make Anthony Callea fall in love with me

Should be easy. Getting the house might be difficult but the other 2 should be pretty straight forward.

I hope you are all well - thankyou to everyone for the messages and phonecalls this morning.

Be good,

- J
xxx

Oh God I Haven't Died!

2007-09-09T18:43:00.000+10:00

Ok so I am here, still alive and ok! Things have been crazy for me in the last few weeks, after finishing work - getting used to the idea of being umemployed and soon to be homeless, plus getting my life into order with moving to Sydney and all. As always, fun things have been going on in my life and I feel like I could go on forever - better get into it...

My close encounter with Gwen Stefani -
Ok, so a friend of mine had a spare ticket to see Gwennie in Melbourne and asked if I would like to tag along. Stupid question, everyone knows what I am like when it comes to celebrities - somehow I manage to get myself within the glow of their aura - an uncontrolled talent I have. Anyway so I am sitting there enjoying tunes like "Wind it Up" and "4am" complete with little Harajuku (?) girls in their cute outfits being all bad ass, when this guy comes up to our rockin' seats (many thanks to Optimistic_Girl's Hubby) and says to us that Gwen is about to come up to the area we are sitting in and sing and stuff. Cue the craziness. We all start to comprehend the idea that we are about to get close with G and they start rolling out tape to hold all the plebs back. Before I can whip my phone out - Gwen is upon me (ref. below pic). I was told strictly told no touching but the queens behind me did not adhere to this rule and were mauling her for all she was worth. I was happy just to sit and smile and enjoy the moment. I did not however enjoy being trampled by a massive black security man - or did I?

Young Divas -
So the week I left work, I was invited to the Ronald McDonald House Charity Ball - yay! Great excuse to tan, spackle and buff for the night. Oh yeah and the charity part too. So the last time I went to this Ball, I was pulled up onstage with John Stevens from Noiseworks and sang on stage with him. Actually we had a sing off - I so won, ask anyone who went. This time I am expecting no less. The suprise act were the Young Divas sans Ricki-Lee (whom I have met before anyways) and by that stage I had enjoyed a few bevvies and dashed to the front of the stage infront of all the middle aged, shoulder padded hair teased Nannas that were there too. Enter uncontrolled ability to attract celebs. So I am singing my guts out to every song (looking like a real 'Mo) when Emily comes over and says to myself and my Fag Bangle (bless her) that was accompanying me, "Right I am coming back in a minute and one of you are singing for me". Ha! I give her that "You better pick me" look and she gets the message. Cue to me snatching her mic and turning around to the crowd and singing "Searching" to everyone there. Ok, task complete - I can go home.

Movin' on out -
Two things. A) I cannot believe just how much crap I have accumulated in the short time I have lived in my house. Boxes and boxes of just nothing. B) I look a mess. It amazes me to see just how much let myself go when not in contact with anyone but my Mum. I am going straight home now to beauty-fy myself, book myself in to have my hair done and do something about the craziness that apparently are my eyebrows. I feel very sorry for myself at the moment - no job, no home, no possesions (sold them all). The only things I do have are 1. A broken heart (don't want to talk about it) 2. Louis Vuitton luggage 3. An adventure awaiting me 4. My Ipod.
I leave for Sydney next Wednesday, so I will most likely be writing from there next. If your in the area, give me a buzz - would love to meet you/see you again.

Be good,

- J
xxx

What I Learn-ed on the Weekend #05

2007-09-09T18:42:00.000+10:00

Well it's Tuesday and I realised I forgot to write by blog yesterday - norty me. This weekend was moderately interesting...

This weekend I went to the Football. Yes, the Football. I went for no other reason than to see somone I know umpire there which was nice, but the funniest part of the whole day was my behaviour. Now anyone who remotely knows me, knows that I am not into Football at all. If it is the only thing on TV - you will find me cleaning something or in the bath - and then cleaning the bath.
Could have fooled me on Saturday, I found myself critising the Tassie team for their pathetic play, losing the ball and agreeing with other Football-goers that the team in general are quite short. Compared to the Giants that play for Frankston with their short shorts and nice tan, great arms...where were we? Oh right - Football. So apparently I thought I new a bit about the game, even complaining about letting people on the field when the game hadn't finished. What the hell? What has happened to me? Better book in to have my eyebrows done or something...

I was reading Perez today and saw a picture of the Paparazzo chasing Lindsay "Blow-Han" going to the tanning salon - WTF? Why the hell are they interested in photographing her doing that? Was it the fact that she didn't crash her car into a tree on the way? or the fact she was snorting some disco dust whilst on her blackberry whilst flashing her punnani? Geez, they wanna be careful or she'll end up just like...well...her?

This is my last week at work before I move to Sydney. I have allowed myself a few weeks (2) after I finish to get my shizz together and move. I am pretty sure these 2 weeks are going to be torture because a) I have to pack and that means manual labour and b) I have to say goodbye to everything I have ever known. Tough stuff. There is also someone I have to say goodbye to aswell - even tougher stuff.

Well I hope you have a good week - talk soon,

- J
xxx

What I Learn-ed on the Weekend #04

2007-09-09T18:41:00.000+10:00

Fun, fun weekend. Didn't really want it to end if that's possible - read on and I hope you enjoy....

- It takes me around 3 hours to look acceptable to go out. It was Model_Chicks birthday after all and the whole cast of Models Inc. was going to be there trying to "Out Pout" each other.
- I don't like talking to drunk people whose eyes don't go in the same direction
- Or drunk people who feel the need to tell pull me close to tell me something very important and end up spitting more in my ear rather than tell me.
- It makes me laugh how many girls love to talk to you after a few Vodka Cruisers. Why does this happen to me now? - why not when I was pretending I liked chicks? I think I may have just answered my own question.
- I do not like these girls boyfriends glaring at me from the shadows. Exit stage left.

Next -
- That Port Arthur was so gay! BMW_Boy and I took a little field trip down there on Sunday and like a little married couple we purchased "the works" tour. It was a walk yourself tour complete with little head set thingy (which was sort of a bad choice as we looked like total wankers walking around listening to it!), Cruise and Guided Tour. When we got to one point it starting talking about "afterdark activities" - this sparked my surprise - then the little man in the box says "to hear more about homosexuality, press 301". Well we couldn't press 301 quick enough. All of a sudden I am picturing smutty leather bars and coked out twinks dancing around the penetentary, which has been turned into a whistle blowing nightclub. Not so. Interesting all the same though. Apparently alot of the prisoners sent to Port Arthur were partial to some man on man action. We grinned and giggled as the serious voiced talked about the convicts creeping off into the bush and having it off with each other. They were caught boasting about it and given and extended sentence. So worth it. It really gave the phrase "Penal Settlement" new meaning...
- On a long field trip, your IPod can run out of interesting songs
- I love scaring the shit out of local...lets say...conservative thinkers. Par example, stopping to re-beverage and purchasing a "My Little Pony" lollipop for BMW_Boy and telling the shop attendant it was for the "Man" in the car. He he, I am norty.

Next -
- I love the fact I had lunch with one of my best girly friends in the whole world (lets call her Ballerina_Girl) who was down from Sydney. She is going to be one of my support team with the move to Sydney and I wanted to fill her in on what has been going on in my life as we catch up like every 6 months or so. In order to tell the story as dramatic as it was (and always is with me) I realised I had neglected to tell her I no longer cared for the female variety of person (yep, that I am a 'Mo). I know, how come I haven't told her? Stop busting my hump - I tell who I want. Geez, most people figure it out anyways. So I start with the "I have something to tell you" line - throw it out there - "I'm Gay!" and you know what she says?... "and?" - that is her answer. And this is the reason I love her.

Well I'm off, the weeks are racing by and my departure date from Hobart edges closer. Haven't. Packed. A. Thing.
Crap!

Love youse,

- J
xxx

Mid-Week Madness

2007-09-09T18:40:00.000+10:00

Hey,

So so creepy today - I was stalked! I was driving out to Moooooonah (he he) and for those people who know my alter ego of Captain Cruiser...I was going to give out free stuff. All of a sudden I realised there was a car following each move I did. It kind of freaked me out at first but I thought I would have a bit of fun, fortunate for my stalkers, I can't total work's car just to shake them off've my tail so it was pretty boring. Freaky, Fun, then Boring.

So I am scared shit-less about moving to Sydney. I may seem quite together (to most) but I'll admit - it's scary. Big city, no job to go to, no home. I have my friends which is important but it worries me all the same. Also I think I might just be leaving the best thing that has ever happened to me. Tell me this, why do the brain and the heart never work together? Should you follow the brain because it's higher in the body or the heart because without the heart the brain is fucked? Something to think about.

Next -
So has anyone seen the new photo shoot of the Posh-Beckhams? Oh My Cher! This is one hot shoot. Great chest, nice bum, awesome hair. Oh yeah, Vicky looks good too! It's so Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut meets Moe's Dirty Tattoo Parlour!!

Next -
Zac Efron. Boy sure does love his hair/bronzer/lip gloss. If you look closely in some of his pics, you can see the amount of makeup he has on. Bless him, let him figure it out in his own time...

That's enough,

Be good,
- J
xxx

What I Learn-ed on the Weekend #03

2007-09-09T18:37:00.000+10:00

Aggrrhhhh!

This is the third attempt at me writing my blog today. I am starting to think someone is trying to stop me from posting this puppy! I deleted the first one by mistake which was probably a good thing as I rattled on for about 3 paragraphs about something I am not (upon reflection) totally ready to talk about as yet. Then someone else deleted it about 5 minutes ago, I am cursed!

All I am going to say about above mentioned rattling is that, the last month or so of my life has been the most confusing and heart-breaking yet wonderful time I have ever had.
If you have someone special in your life, take a second now to let them know how much they mean to you...

Ok here we go:
Dior_Boy was down over the weekend and made me realise the following:
From this day forth, when referencing to the Hobart "International" Airport, one must use little inverted commas with their fingers when saying the "International" part. The only thing "International" about that place is the length of the walk from one end of the terminal to the other.
I have now come to the realisation as to how good it is to know someone with the same shoe size as you. Girls, I now get it. It's like having another wardrobe to wear!!

Expensive Mens "Beauty" products are great. Especially when you don't have to pay for them (no stealing!! It was a gift). I love the fact that Tom Williams and I now have something in common. Someone else pays for us to wear Bio-Therm.

It has come to my attention that as a gay man, if you have perfect bone structure and are wearing enough Dolce and Gabbana - you can make any bitchy queen do what you want. Par example: Dior_Boy and I were in need of some shelter from the rain and some serious latte action. We stepped into a cafe and were told there was no room for us at the inn (I felt like a Mary he he). All of a sudden out of no where, Tall_Bitchy_Queen_Waiter_Boy comes rushing over and says there is a table, with a sideways glance at Dior_Boy. No sooner are we seated, Tall_Bitchy_Queen_Waiter_Boy is a puddle of giggling over-tanned putty in Dior_Boys hands. Pathetic. Not bad for someone who has served me over a dozen times and can barely manage a fake grin for me. Bitter Much?

Next -
I had one of those weekends where you see too many men dressed as women. It started with the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh. My. God. Kylie minogue has nothing on Rocky in those gold hotpants. Then last night it was Mrs. Doubt Fire. I forgot how funny that movie was, piss-ed myself. Back to Rocky Horror, so how do you pitch a movie like that to the guy that played Brad Majors (the boyfriend). "Ok so at one point, we want you to put fishnets and a corset on and dance around in hooker heels? Are you cool with that?" I can only imagine what that conversation would have been like...

Ok, so I was thinking I might do a mid week blog soon as there seems to be a heap of stuff going on at the moment - could be worth a read.

Hope you are well,

Be good,

- J
xxx

What I Learn-ed on the Weekend #02

2007-09-09T18:36:00.000+10:00

Well this weekend was fun...
It involved an early flight from the Hobart "International" Airport. That's always fun. Not so much fun when your not the person flying out. Now I know how Taxi drivers feel.
I temporarily misplaced my wallet and had visions of some little shit spending the tens of dollars that I have in my account. I was pleased to find it in my other jacket pocket after a day of searching.
Did another BBQ for work, no hot dads though.

Next -
I am just going to leap right in there and say it. Homeless people are becoming cheeky. This morning as I was walking to work, a "stunning" homeless woman cornered me with her over bearing bra-less breasts and toothy grin and asked me for some money. Now, I am used to the "Do you have a dollar so I can catch the bus" trick and I was ready for her. To my astonishment, she asked for 5 dollars! Now anyone who knows me, knows I'm not cheap but I couldn't help but stare at this woman! Did she just throw caution to the wind and jump right for the jackpot by asking for 5 dollars? I suppose if I put myself in her non matching shoes, I would be the same. Why bother asking 50 people for twenty cents when you could just hope you get lucky on one or two people for 5 or 10 bucks? I think homeless people are getting crafty, good on them then.

Next -
The Spice Girls Reunion
Ok so yes, I am a bit excited that Sporty, Slutty, Paprika, Vicky B and Psycho Spice are back together. I knew one day, mysteriously exactly 10 years after they broke up, that they would use their powers for good once again to heal the world from sickness and bring at least 2 hit songs to the charts. I think there has been a serious shift of power in the group though. As we all know, Vicky B has heaps of shit going on while the others have what - mystery babies?? (as in it's a mystery as to whom the father is) and a new fringe? You can see it in their poses, she is so the top biatch now. After all, she has the highest boobies out of all of them...

Next -
BMW_Boy has gone away for the week so I am looking after his waterfront apartment and driving his BMW around. I love it. Makes everything I have worked my butt off to own look like crap. I hate that.

Dior_Boy is coming to Hobart this weekend! Yeah! I am excited, we are going to have mannies and peddies, pillow fights and do the Cosmo quiz... - seriously, I'm not that gay. Well maybe just a little. I have to think of some spectacular things to do this weekend. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Lastly -
Some of you may know I have been planning to move to Sydney for a while and today I resigned from my job here in Hobart. I have been applying for jobs for the last couple of months with no luck and so I have made the decision to just move and take a chance. I really feel like this will be part of my adventure and I am incredibly excited and scared at the same time. I will be in Hobart until the end of July and then I'm off. I was very touched at how sad some people were to hear that I was leaving. It has been the chance of a life time to work for the radio station that I grew up listening to and I look forward to the adventures that await me at my next destination.

Thats it for now, I hope you are well.

- J
xxx

What I Learn-ed on the Weekend #01

2007-09-09T18:31:00.000+10:00

This weekend was a little bit less eventful than the previous two but somehow I feel inclined to write something here as if someone wants to read about it - you do right?

Ok, here we go -
Spending a shit load of money at department stores gets you some serious attention, that and two gay men shopping together. It felt like we were Angelina and Brad (not sure who was who)...(ah who am I kidding - I'm Angelina). The conversation to the retail assistant was something like "Sure Hun, just pop that $1,500 worth of cushions in the black BMW parked illegally out the front while we walk around looking down our noses at everything".

Next -
Hardware stores attract "Hot Dads"
They also attract not so "Hot Dads"
Raising money for charities makes me feel like a man
I don't like smelling like a BBQ
or touching raw meat
or dirty children
or cheap people that ask for change after making a donation

Next -
I never fall asleep during movies. But on the weekend I had two seperate goes at watching "Wedding Date" with Grace (Debra Messing) and fell asleep during both attempts. It is now my life aim to watch this movie without dozing off.
Jackets with fur on the hood are so in, as I now own one. Anyone to say otherwise is a fool. I look hot - mainly because the air conditioning isn't working in our building - but still...

Next -
Sleeping with someone and not spooning - what is this called? Two knives in a bed? Kniving? Someone please let me know...
Apparently I snore. Quiet dainty snores of course - I blame being sick still *sympathy*. I cannot be expected to breath properly when suffering from the plague like symptoms of a Hobart Cold/Cough. At least I don't talk in my sleep - that would be embarrassing...

Next -
Would you say it's a problem when one spends $30 on a mug? Is it worse I made the purchase because Donna Karan designed the mug? Does the fact that the money goes to charity balance out my spend? Did I think that by buying the mug, Donna (of DKNY fame for those of you not on that train) and I would have something in common? Would I see her one day and say "Oh, by the way Donna - I bought your mug, so we're BFF now or what?"
Lastly - I love meeting my friends for dinner - Leish, your a top chick. See you soon.

Ok, I think that's enough - I hope your all well. Talk soon, - J